Hey Guys, how are y’all doing? I hope this post finds you well. Before I start to ramble and unpack, I’d like you to take a few minutes to find a nice spot where you can relax and take a deep breath. I don’t know if life has been unkind to you lately but take a moment for yourself not to think, worry, wonder, or problem solve but to just be still. Sometimes we need to seek intentional moments of stillness during the day because it helps to just unwind for a bit and breathe. Feeling better? Good now let’s talk.
As I mentioned in previous posts this year has been a year of overcoming many fears and doubts. I’m actually very proud of everything I’ve done and tried this year. I have done things I’ve always dreamed of but never thought I’d do, things that have pushed me completely out of my comfort zone, and things that I honestly wouldn’t even attempt because of fear holding me back.
Let’s get to the root of this though, what makes us so afraid to try or do something? For me it was the: “What if I try and fail? What if I get made fun of? What if they don’t like me? What if it wasn’t worth it? What if I get hurt? What if…” I don’t know what your “What ifs” are but take a moment to think about what is holding you back from experiencing life to the fullest, what’s stopping you from asking for that promotion, or what’s making you stay inside the safety of your box? When you look into the root of what’s causing you to fear and doubt then it’s easier to overcome. I want to be transparent with y’all a lot of what holds me back is my weight. Sometimes I think “If I attempt this they’ll talk about me, what if I don’t fit, What if they laugh?”
Would you like to know how I slowly over came that fear? I started going to the gym in 2019 and was met by the best support team I could have, my trainers/ coaches and gym buddies. To my surprise not once was I made fun of, if anything I became an inspiration to many and even the most fit members would come up to me to say how I push them to try harder everyday and how amazing I am. They said these things about me and you know what it feels amazing to work hard for yourself and inspire others.
Going to the gym made me fall in love with myself and gave me such an amazing confidence boost because I realized that I was strong, healthy, and capable of doing amazing things. Currently with work and how crazy my schedules have been I haven’t been able to go as much but knowing my friends/ trainers they’ll kidnap me back soon hahaha.
So back to it, once fear is overcome what about the rest? Well little by little I would try to push myself to do things I wouldn’t usually do because It’s my life and I don’t want to live a boring one. I want to leave a beautiful story behind for my future kids and generations to come so that they could see that I didn’t let anything hold me back from having a life full of adventures, love, and laughter.
We fear so many things, fear of not being good enough, fear of failing, fear of rejection, and so many more. Would you like to know a little secret? Fear doesn’t look good on any of us. Would you like to know why? Because 1. You are enough. 2. Who cares if you like someone and they don’t like you, you are a catch and someone out there will see the amazing person you are. Moving forward we are not holding on to feelings longer than we should. It isn’t a crime to like someone and let them know, if they don’t see you that way it’s fine move on, get your favorite pjs, ice cream, and have a good cry but don’t hold on to that. Someone who is truly worth your time will prove that they deserve it and you. 3. If you fail you’ll learn a valuable lesson and you can always try again.
I’m not saying that it’s easy to cast away fear and doubt but it is possible to overcome them because as it says in 2 Timothy 1:7-
“ For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”
Isaiah 41:10-
“Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.”
Just a few verses on how God has not given us fear and yet here we are so willing to allow fear to overcome us. Why should we let fear consume us? I always try to pray before I do or plan anything because I also recognize that I live by God’s will and know that He has His own plans for my life but that doesn’t mean He doesn’t consider the petitions of our hearts. So why should I fear life? Why should I let opportunities escape me because I’m afraid to fail. Here are a few quotes that when I read them I just had to share them with yall
- “I thank God for my failures. Maybe not at the time, but after some reflection. I never feel like a failure just because something I tried has failed.” —Dolly Parton
- “I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can’t accept not trying.” —Michael Jordan
- “Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead-end. Failure is something we can avoid only by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.” —Denis Waitley
- “I don’t want the fear of failure to stop me from doing what I really care about.” —Emma Watson
- “What is the point of being alive if you don’t at least try to do something remarkable?” –John Green
- “Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” —Thomas Edison
- “A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new.” —Albert Einstein
You see my lovely friends, it’s not that we should fear failure but embrace it, it’s not going to feel the best but the wisdom and knowledge you recieve from experiencing it will help you in life. So my dare for you is to dare to dream big, dare to go on an adventure, dare to fly!
One of my favorite quotes is:
““What if I fall?” Oh but my darling, What if you fly?”
— Erin Hanson
Instead of doubting and thinking of the worst outcomes, think of how beautiful your experiences and adventures will be if you decide to go for it. For as long as I could remember I have always wanted to be a teacher and work at a school but when I started working at daycare centers I became comfortable with the environment I knew. I knew I deserved more, especially pay wise but for some reason I was afraid to seek more, afraid to ask for more. So last year while I was working at a daycare that honestly wasn’t the best environment for me I didn’t appreciate how I was getting treated. I knew I was getting paid less than what I should’ve gotten, especially for my experience. I ended up getting fired in September 2021 because I asked for a raise. I was making $13 an hour and yes I know that’s more than most but I know my worth and asked for a $1 raise. Did I know that I was going to be treated like I was nothing and embarrassed in front of my coworkers just because I asked for a raise? No, I did not I was so hurt and I remember going to my Pastor’s house crying and he told me “Janny this isn’t going to be the first or last time you will get fired from a job, I know that it is unfair but only God knows the plans He has for you and who knows maybe your next job will be even better.”
And you know what my Pastor was right, little did I know this year I would get the opportunity to become a Paraprofessional and get paid $20 an hour. I’m not telling you all of this to brag but I just want you to know that we can not fear change because I was so comfortable in an environment that I wasn’t growing in, I wasn’t being used to my fullest potential. I was scared to start a new profession especially in a Middle school with a different age group. I was scared of not being smart enough, wondering if I’d fit in with all of my coworkers, If I’d be a good enough teacher. As stressful as this job can be I absolutely love it and mind you sometimes we even sell ourselves short because as much as I begged for a $1 raise God had other plans and gave me a $7 raise. Change is scary but sometimes it’s worth it.
And if you’re still scared after all of my rambling that’s okay it just means you have to overcome it.
So in the words of my friends Luca and Alberto from the movie “Luca” just say
“Silenzio Bruno!”
Whenever Luca and Alberto have a voice in their head telling them they can’t to something, they call it a Bruno. Bruno is actually just nerves or fear, so to combat their inner doubts they say “Silenzio Bruno!” This gets Bruno to be quiet and helps the boys be brave. https://sarahscoop.com/top-10-quotes-from-disney-pixars-luca/
So make sure that with God’s guidance and a little courage you overcome that tiny voice in your head that says you can’t!
Until our next unpacking my lovelies!
Love Always,
Janny Mari
One Day at A Time with Janny Mari 