Hey Guys, I know it’s been a week since I’ve last posted but a lot has happened. I hope you guys have been staying warm and at home; It’s been freezing lately these past few days. I’ve been wondering what my next unpacking with you guys should be and honestly today’s topic hits home. Y’all already know find your comfy spot and let’s dive in.
So, this past week I debated a lot on what topic I wanted to talk about and this one stood out the most. Are you making yourself a priority? You may be asking “What do you mean Janny?” Well I mean are you making time for yourself? Are you resting? Do you like the person you’ve become? I know I know I’m hitting you guys with a lot right now but maybe this is something I’ve also been wondering about myself. Over the last few posts I’ve talked about over coming fear, dealing with anxiety, and setting boundaries. Today I want to talk about what may be our biggest stumbling block, Ourselves.
Overcoming fear and anxiety is great but what if after overcoming all of that we don’t believe in ourselves? What if we allow our circumstances to paralyze us from moving forward? What if because people expect so much from us we don’t know what it’s like to live just for ourselves. [Wow, I didn’t even know I had these questions.] I may have been afraid to admit it but there have been plenty of times in my life where I’ve allowed people, expectations and situations to block me from moving forward. Being a giver has it’s ups but it definitely has its downs. As a giver something we need to learn is when to stop giving so much, now I’m not saying stop being nice I’m saying stop giving yourself so freely all of the time. We tend to always want to fix everything and everyone’s problems and than when it comes to our own we’re too overwhelmed or as I try not to do we hide it under a rug and keep on moving. Let me tell you when people expect you to be available all of the time it’s exhausting because when you finally decide that enough is enough they make you out to be the bad guy. That is why I can not stress it enough that its okay to have boundaries and to not always be available.
Have you ever felt like you’ve put a pause on your life because someone needed you? Maybe it’s your kids, your relationship, family, work, friends. I get it it’s because you care and want to help out but may I remind you you are a not the main character in their life, at the end of the day they will live out their life and do what they want. There has to come a point in your life when you realize you also have a life to live, goals and dream you want to accomplish and if you don’t know what they are maybe just maybe you need to get out there and figure out who you are. I want you to ask yourself these questions: What are your hopes and dreams? What’s your favorite place to be in? Do you like to travel? Do you want to learn something new?
Whether you’re single or not take the time to figure these things out, take the time to truly know who you are and what you like to do. For those who are married and or are grandparents set some boundaries yourself. Huge reminder for those with Adult children, 1: You already raised your kids and 2: Live your life unapologetically. Take care of yourselves because sadly some kids are selfish and don’t have the sense God gave them to see when you’re tired and overworked. Hopefully I can speak for many that we have seen your hard work. We have seen you give up who you were to become our parents, providers, and caretakers. One may argue that “It’s your job, we didn’t decide to be born” but I want you all to know how truly appreciated you are even if your own children don’t tell you.
I have seen all of the sacrifices my parents have made so that I can be who I am today. I dream of achieving and becoming better because they have always pushed me and believed that I can do greater than them. My wish for them and for all of you is that if you’ve put a pause in your life because of work, life, your relationship, family, children than press play because you have a life to live. Don’t stop living it because you feel like your time has passed it most definitely hasn’t. Give yourself permission to live your life to the fullest even if that means you need to call out to take a rest day, even if that means saying you can’t babysit, even if that means you need to go out by yourself.
I challenge you to find something you like to do and do it, go on a date alone or with a friend, do something you’ve been holding off on doing because you can’t find the time. Listen, make the time because at the end of the day you don’t want to say you lived your life for someone else or be filled with “I should haves.”
My girl Luisa from the movie “Encanto” said it best:
“If I Could Shake The Crushing Weight Of Expectations Would That Free Some Room Up For Joy Or Relaxation, Or Simple Pleasure?”
It’s okay to dream big, it’s okay to be a little selfish, and it’s okay to figure out who you are. So press play and don’t hold back because of anything or anyone because I for one would love to see where life takes you next adventures and all.
Till our next unpacking, have a great day lovelies!
Love Always,
Janny Mari
One Day at A Time with Janny Mari 