Hello Friends,
It is finally Friday, I don’t know about you but where I live it’s been raining all week. Don’t get me wrong I love the rain but honestly it makes me feel so sleepy and it tempts me to stay home in my sweats instead of getting ready to go to work. Last post a lot of you were surprised to read the fact that I enjoy Crime shows & Documentaries. Should I share more facts about myself? What else would you guys like to know about me? You can comment here or even follow me on Instagram @Jannymari. I’d really love to hear from you guys. Now I hope this post finds you well whether it be at home or at work (I promise I won’t tell on you.) So get cozy and let’s talk for a bit.
I recently read a quote about lighthouses and I want to share it with you, it says:
“I am lighthouse rather than lifeboat. I do not rescue, but instead help others to find their own way to shore, guiding them by my example.” – Unknown
Reading this quote reminded me of when I visited Cape Cod with one of my closest friends last November. I remember staring at the lighthouse in awe and being thankful that even though I’m not a fisherman or at sea daily I can appreciate what it does and represents. I had never been so close to a lighthouse before and for those that know me of course I took many pictures with it. I know I know I’m rambling aren’t I? Alright let’s get to it.
This quote impacted me in such a way that it truly made me think and evaluate my past self. You see Old Janny thought of herself as a lifeboat, I was someone that if I knew you were falling and needed help I’d be there for you. I would exhaust my energy into making sure you were okay. I can’t tell you the number of times I had lost sleep over worrying about someone else, taking their problems and burdens and making them my own. I literally made it my business to try to save them, and you want to know what the sad part of this is? It’s that I did things not for my own benefit but out of love, it didn’t matter that I was exhausting myself, that I was staying up late trying to figure out a way to help, or that I myself was falling spiritually, emotionally, and mentally.
That’s the hard thing about loving hard. We think we can save the world when at the end of the day it’s not our place or job to. One of my biggest mistakes in life was putting others before me and not setting boundaries sooner. I know it sounds hard but it’s something that as a Giver you need to learn that it’s okay to say no and to not be available because people who are Takers don’t seem to know when to stop taking. Trust me I learned the hard way that sometimes people are only in your life because of what you have to offer and in their minds they think you will always be willing to help.
The funny thing is that a lifeboat is very useful until it has a hole in it, then if it’s a small hole you might use that lifeboat until the hole gets bigger and you realize that more water is coming inside. Do you think that a person who’s in a lifeboat with a hole in it will save the lifeboat or themselves? If your answer is “the person will leave the lifeboat” then you are 100% correct. You see I was the lifeboat and instead of water weighing me down it was my problems and the problems of others. There came a time when the ones I was helping realized that it would be easier to help themselves than to help me, they didn’t realize that I was drowning, that I was sinking.
It was a hard lesson to learn but very much needed and from that moment on I realized I wasn’t a lifeboat I was a lighthouse. God never intended me to save the world and put burdens on myself that should only be given to Him. I’m not God, I can’t save anyone, I can only guide them to the One who truly saves. Last year a close friend of mine was going through a very tough situation and after our phone call I felt so burdened. I had trouble sleeping that night and I noticed that for a brief moment “Janny the Lifeboat” wanted to come out. All I could think of was “How could I help them, this is a tough situation, how can I make it better.” Even as I was on my way to work I felt such a heaviness in my heart and felt myself on the verge of tears. It wasn’t until I cried out to God and told Him that I couldn’t do this that He spoke to me and said “It was never your burden to take. It’s not your job to fix it, it’s mine so give it all to me.” The relief I felt in that moment was everything. I could finally breathe and knew that God was right, I can be a shoulder to lean on, I can hear people out and help them to my best ability, but I can not save them.
I know that as caretakers we think we can save the world but it’s not our job to it’s God’s and last I checked He sent His only Son just for that job.
John 3:16 says:
“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.”
So who are we to try to take over God’s job? I don’t know about you but God didn’t say to me “Hey Janny Mari I need help saving the world so take all of their burdens and fix it kay? Thanks Bye.” He has called me to love through it all and to be a light in the midst of this darkness.
Matthew 5:14-16 says
“You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.”
I am a lighthouse, guiding others when others have seemed to have lost their way. Do you know how important that job is? I’m not the only one called to do this, we all are. Something that I love about a lighthouse is that it was built to shine no matter the circumstances it finds itself in. It was built to shine in midst of darkness, in midst of the worst storms, and the calmest of days. You may ask where am I going with this and honestly I just want you to know that you we were made to withstand all of your trials and tribulations. I’m not saying it won’t be hard what I’m saying is that God will never allow you to go through something that will ruin you or dull your light.
John 16:33
“These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.”
A beautiful promise to hold on to that even though the world is full of hardships He has overcome them all and with Him we can overcome them as well.
There are days when I don’t feel like much of a light and I thank God for the people who He has placed into my life. This weekend two of my friends [well they’re more like family] they came down and on our way to the store they spoke life into me. I don’t need compliments, I don’t look for validation but God used these two to fill me up with joy and peace. As much as you guys may think I’m strong and don’t need anyone to lean on that’s not the case all of the time. Sometimes I enjoy not having to be strong, I enjoy being vulnerable and open with a select few who also understand. I am very blessed to have these two people in my life who I’ve had the privilege of seeing them grow and make a name for themselves. They said so many beautiful things to me and I just want them to know that as much as they love me I truly love them.
For those of you who seem to always be the strong ones remember, there is more than one lighthouse and it’s okay if you’re too tired to shine sometimes because that allows others to shine for you when you need it the most. I am blessed to have beautiful, strong, amazing lighthouses in my life. We do not envy each other for our light instead we understand what it took for us to shine in our life and appreciate on another for it.
My question to you is “in your life at this very moment are you a lifeboat or a lighthouse? ” I can’t answer this question for you, only you can. Only you can choose what you allow yourself to be as in others lives and as you have read from my experience it has been exhausting trying to be a lifeboat. It is my hope that you have also come to this realization and if you haven’t I want you to know that you can still decide whether you allow yourself to sink or shine. I usually don’t advise people to be selfish but in circumstances like this you need to. The only one who you will live with for your entire life is yourself and you need to know that you are worth more than someone’s transportation to safe ground. You deserve to shine bright, to lead, to help when you can and to pray and give it to God when you can’t.
I wish I could say there will never be darkness and tough times in your life but I’d love to remind you that light shines the brightest in darkness just look at the stars and the Moon. As much as we would like to avoid it, what really says something about a person’s character is how bright they shine even when they are given every reason not to.
I leave you guys with this beautiful quote I read:
“If light is in your heart, you will find your way home.” Rumi
So my beautiful friends, allow yourself to accept that darkness is a part of your life but do not let it consume the light that is within you. It is okay to choose to be a lighthouse and if anyone asks tell them I gave you full permission to choose yourself first and if you are able to help than you may but prioritize your life and your boundaries.
Until our next unpacking, have a great day my lovelies!
Love Always,
Janny Mari
One Day at A Time with Janny Mari 