Hey Guys,
How is your week going so far? Y’all I’ve had quite the weekend and can not wait to tell you all about it! Today’s post may seem different or crazy but bear with me cause I know it’ll make sense by the end of it. This past weekend was beyond amazing and tiring. Friday night I went to a beautiful service where God did His thing! It was a service to bridge the gap between all denominations and non-denominations that serve and follow Christ. To be able to worship so freely, not caring who was next to you, not caring if you ugly cried, not caring about anything but worshiping God in spirit and truth was just everything I needed and then some. The funny thing was that I had planned on not going and boy would I have missed one of my biggest blessings. The way God spoke and ministered to my heart and soul truly boosted my spirit; I didn’t know whether I should run, jump, cry, shout out praise, or just relish in His presence. Now I won’t keep you any longer from what we’re going to talk about today so get comfy, tell people to leave you alone for a few minutes, (Are they gone?) Okay, let’s talk.
A few weeks ago I came across a very interesting tiktok, the person started off by saying “stitch this video with something you would’ve never believed but it’s absolutely true.” Then a video of a woman appeared and she was talking about the process of when a hermit crab outgrows its shell and is on the search for a new one. In the video she stated that when a hermit crab finds a shell on the beach it sizes it up to see if it’s big enough for it to move in and if it’s too big then it will wait next to it for hours waiting for other hermit crabs to come and check it out. They would be at this for hours and they would line up from biggest to smallest until there was a big enough hermit crab to move into the big shell and they would each leave their shell and move into the next one in line. Y’all already know your girl needed more information because I’m a nerd and I was instantly intrigued by this so I did what any sane person would do and continued to search for more information on hermit crabs.
The best information I was able to find to explain this process was found on this site https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hermit_crab
Shells and shell competition
“As the hermit crab grows in size, it must find a larger shell and abandon the previous one. Several hermit crab species, both terrestrial and marine, have been observed forming a vacancy chain to exchange shells.[9] When an individual crab finds a new empty shell it will leave its own shell and inspect the vacant shell for size. If the shell is found to be too large, the crab goes back to its own shell and then waits by the vacant shell for up to 8 hours. As new crabs arrive they also inspect the shell and, if it is too big, wait with the others, forming a group of up to 20 individuals, holding onto each other in a line from the largest to the smallest crab. As soon as a crab arrives that is the right size for the vacant shell and claims it, leaving its old shell vacant, then all the crabs in the queue swiftly exchange shells in sequence, each one moving up to the next size.”
As I was absorbing all of this information on hermit crabs and their shells I knew there was something deeper to this and it wasn’t until I was talking to a friend of mines and I was telling him about a few things I was going through, I was venting really but that’s beside the point. So as I was sharing this information with him which surprisingly he also saw a video on hermit crabs and knew what I was rambling about. I kept telling him that I know there’s something deeper to this and boom it hit me. As someone who’s single I keep getting told that my standards are too high. For people who know me they joke around and say “Janny you’re too much.”
After getting told this even jokingly most of my life one really starts to wonder if they are actually too much. What if I’m too loud? What if I’m too silly? What if I’m too smart? What if I speak my mind too much? What if I’m too pretty? (okay that was more for me haha.) You’re too intimidating, Men want this, men want that. Everyone knows you’re that extra friend. “Janny’s here, watch her try to get all of the attention.”
Some days I laugh these comments off and other days I think about these questions and comments a little too much. Some people wish they were like you and others hate you because of who you are. Some days I would find myself trying to be quieter, trying to make myself smaller, trying not to call attention to myself because the irony of it all is that more than half the time I don’t want the attention. Sometimes I wish people would focus a little less on me, I wish they wouldn’t make a huge show when I come in the room because I don’t like the feeling of being told I’m too much. It’s something I battle with because people know the “Janny’s here! Janny’s bubbly, Janny’s loud, Janny obviously wants the attention.” If I’m completely honest I didn’t want to be perceived in that “Ugh she’s too much, she’s extra,” but something my youngest brother told me this past sunday (when I was nervous about wearing this new dress I got because I thought it was too much ) and he looked me in the eyes and said “Janny You are too much why are you scared to BE too much. This is who you are.”
Something clicked and I thought you know what I can not lessen myself just because I don’t want people to make comments about me. They’ve been making comments all of my life and it’s never stopped me before. I am loud, I am quiet, I love black clothes but I also love pink, I can’t help that I attract the best people and that they love me just the way I am, as much as I don’t want to be the center of attention it’s something that will always happen. If I find something really funny I laugh until I start to cough, I’m clumsy and sadly that makes everyone around me want to protect me. If my head wasn’t attached I’d lose it. I’m constantly getting yelled at “your phone is there, your heels are there, don’t forget this or that.” I’m either super chill or absolutely chaotic, no in between and you know what I am proud of who I am.
Why do I share all of this? Because if there is anyone out there like me I do not want you feeling like you’re too much for people or this world if anything they’re too little for you. You are perfect just the way you are. Some people made me feel like I was an attention seeker while others would tell me “Janny you are you, you can’t help but to be a light in this world, and for that reason people are drawn to you.” Some people will envy you because you own who you are and they still can’t figure out who they are. You don’t need anyone who makes you feel like you need to shrink yourself in order to be a part of them. You just need to shine like the beautiful person you are, be loud, be quiet, be colorful, or wear all dark clothing. You are the only one living your life and making the best memories.
I truly am sorry if anyones made you feel like you’re too much, who’s made you feel weird or awkward and honestly who wants to be normal anyway that’s boring. If they have ever made you feel badly about yourself then maybe it’s time to rethink who you surround yourself with. Let’s thank God that we are seasoned and flavored with life, that we are intriguing, unique, and original. That we add color to any room we step in, that people instantly smile when they see us because we make them feel loved and make them laugh.
Oh and before I forget, A note to the men who may have felt threatened by the force of nature that I am, who have been too scared to actually step up, who thought that they could play with my emotions, who aren’t man enough to admit that I’m too much for them to handle. Step aside and allow whoever the man God has for me to come and find me because obviously my shell is too big for you. So (respectfully) go find a smaller shell.
I leave you with this quote,
“You will always be too much of something for someone: too big, too loud, too soft, too edgy. If you round out your edges, you lose your edge. Apologize for mistakes. Apologize for unintentionally hurting someone- profusely. But don’t apologize for being who you are.” – Danielle Laporte
Until our next unpacking, have a great day lovelies!
Love Always,
Janny Mari
One Day at A Time with Janny Mari 