“Give it another try.”

Hi guys!!

So as I was brainstorming a topic for this month’s blog I felt stuck for a moment. I decided to put a pin on it and revisit my thoughts because I have been involved in multiple things lately and I felt like I couldn’t quiet my mind enough to focus on sitting down and writing. As I’m writing this I’m sitting on my bed with my laptop on my lap, featuring the craziest messiest curly bun you could possibly think of and contemplating if my legs are working enough to go get a bite to eat after a long day. The truth is sometimes we chase inspiration at the time that is the most convenient to us but  sometimes it comes at unexpected times; I like to call it a “God thing.” 

The truth is, it has been rough friends! You guys probably do not know but I got a new position 5 months ago within the same company I have been working for the past 2 years. Yet my new position required me to learn other functions that I was not exposed to before. Sometimes when I’m learning something new and I’m unsure of what I’m doing I feel very incompetent, sometimes even frustrated. My natural inclination is to want to be in control, not because I necessarily want to be self-sufficient all the time (I always depend on my God) but because I honestly do not like asking people questions and “bothering them” with my incompetence. When I first started I would ask a million questions about navigating the system to find what I needed to complete in this new role. I would apologize so many times for asking questions and wanting to fully learn what I needed to do to complete my tasks well. 

During this time I was provided worksheets, templates and sorts of guides that looked like complete scribbles to my brain or to my new mom brain. I felt like I couldn’t grasp the concept of certain tasks within our electronic system and that made me quite frustrated at times. I will be honest and say I was giving myself little to no grace. I sometimes even let the feelings of inadequacy create unnecessary anxiety for me.  I would stretch that feeling as far as thinking “maybe I’m not the right person for this job.” I would occasionally even wonder how my coworkers would look at me asking “so many questions.” Isn’t our mind something powerful? Quite destructive sometimes? It can create assumptions and imaginary scenarios that are very far from actual reality. No wonder the darts the enemy throws In our minds can be so effective if we are not covered and shielded by the Word of God. 

In the past 2 weeks my company has been training all staff to transition to a new system that is supposed to be more efficient. Yet, in the midst of the unknown that same frustration wanted to creep in again. “Here we go again” I thought, “right where I was 5 months ago.” Now not only am I learning a new system but I have to join others, including my coworkers, to learn the same system also. Not to sound cliche but it literally feels like “a blind guiding another blind” we were not getting anywhere!

Somehow I changed my approach this time. Today was day two and I had determined in my mind to first, change my attitude, then change my thinking about this new learning experience. Sure enough today is day two and I could confidently say I feel so much more sure of what I’m doing. I was able to help others learn and obtain the resources they needed. I felt myself getting anxious a few times, but I wanted to continue to keep myself grounded while others watched what I was teaching them. That same hope I felt after doing the task repeatedly to teach others, I was able to see it in others while they were learning from me.  Sometimes we forget the impact we have on others when we first focus on doing the work within ourselves. Often when we face something for the first time and fail or don’t perform to our own standards it could be very easy to abandon the task to avoid feeling insecure, ridiculed or even sometimes like a bother. Similar to how I felt when I first returned to work after having a baby. I found and continue to be reminded that giving it another try can help you improve each time, and when you learn, you are able to pass it along to others. 

Honestly, If I would have decided to remain indulging in anxiousness and racing thoughts about my inability to learn the task during the first try I probably would have missed the opportunity to help others along the way. The learning phase of all this is not over yet, we still have multiple days of constant training and practice so we can do it correctly and eventually be more efficient. There are other things pending that need to be shown to us that are also necessary to record the information in the system. However, just because we are still learning doesn’t mean we can stop helping. Our perception of failure is not the end of the road, something better is at the other side of your insecurity…

I want to leave you with the following verse that has deeply impacted my life in moments when I feel inadequate, or I feel like I have reached roadblock when learning something new:

“For a just man falleth seven times, and riseth up again…” 

-Proverbs 24:16

As children of God, there are some fighting and persistent genes that already have been embedded within us! TRY AGAIN!

With love, 

Perla