Hey everyone, it’s been awhile. I have some very exciting news that I can’t wait to share with you all but it’ll have to wait for the next post. At the moment I’m quite overwhelmed with feelings but not in a bad way. Just in the way that maybe if I write to y’all I’ll feel more at ease. I’ve been so busy that I didn’t even realize that my birthday is next month. I don’t know how I’m going to spend it seeing as there’s no possible way I can top Paris but I’m sure something fun will come up. I hope you guys are doing well and I hope life has been going well for you. Get comfy, find a quiet corner and let’s talk for a bit.
Exactly two weeks ago I met with a dear friend of mine, and now that I think about it she’s so much more than that. This past Saturday we had a beautiful conference at my church titled “The truth about love.” It was given by my friend Perla who some of you may know as the author of some of the other blogs written here. Her and her husband truly brought a special conference where many of us learned more about ourselves and were given tools on how to grow more in our relationships throughout our life. One of her questions was who do you consider to be a mentor in your life and honestly I left it blank because I didn’t feel like I had one seeing as I’m usually a mentor to most. To be honest the only one who I had in mind that I can talk about anything with is my mom but that wasn’t the question it was who would I consider a mentor.
Now bear with me as I come to the realization that I do in fact have a mentor, I just didn’t realize it until now. In my mind I thought of those in the church who I might consider as a mentor but there was someone who God placed in my life not as a spiritual mentor but as a life mentor, Cindy. I met Cindy in 2019, I was 26 years old; I was going through the toughest season of my life. I was lost, my foundation with God was crumbling, and I didn’t know who I was at all. I’ve mentioned this before in my earlier blogs but Anytime Fitness (the gym I joined during this time) was a place I was reluctant to visit but easily became my second home, my very own rehabilitation center.
I met some pretty amazing people including my coaches and now friends April and Eric. Eric, who at the time was running the Anytime I joined quickly became someone I went to with anything and everything. At some point he became a safe space for me to vent and be me. I can’t express enough gratitude to April as well because she helped me rekindle the love and fire for God that I thought was gone. Even through Covid she met with me every single week and taught me how to rebuild my relationship with God and worked out with me at least 3 times a week at 5am. I quickly became a part of this community that began to heal parts of me that they didn’t break.
I started to look forward to working out with Cindy and all of her encouragement when I felt like I couldn’t anymore. Because of her and Eric I am now working at a job I love no matter how challenging it can be but after covid, it was harder for me to go to Anytime and I found myself going less and less. Now My relationship with God is stronger than ever but I find myself missing one thing, Anytime. Last year I wasn’t ready to go back, life kept getting busier and busier but after meeting up with Cindy I found myself making less excuses and asking myself why not now.
As we had dinner and caught up with each other, she asked me about myself. How I was doing and honestly I wasn’t doing that great and you know what she did, she gave me one of her talks. The type of talks that make you want to get your act together and live your best life. Cindy always has pushed me to be and do better. Whether it be at the gym, at work, about my future, and relationship advice. She always has a golden nugget for me and reminds me to work hard and continue to pray that great things are on their way. I don’t think she truly knows how much she means to me and how much I value her words. After hearing me talk for a while, that’s when she reminded me that I need to put on the Oxygen mask first.
I found this excerpt in: https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbescoachescouncil/2020/06/09/leaders-put-your-own-oxygen-mask-on-first/?sh=5d0193bd77ad
“Put yourself first.
In order to support your team and be there for everyone around you, you need to start with yourself.
Think of it this way: When you board a flight, just before take-off, the flight attendant begins their ritual in explaining the wheres, whats and what ifs. What’s the one thing that’s always on all the pamphlets and in every speech when it comes to emergency protocols?
“Should an emergency situation occur, you need to put your own oxygen mask on first, before attempting to help those around you.”
Using this analogy, you might instinctively think this is selfish, counter-intuitive even. But that’s far from the truth. Let’s explore why.
As a leader, especially during times of crisis, people are looking to you for answers, guidance and support. How can you be at the top of your game if you aren’t meeting your own needs first? You will only be able to provide quality guidance and support by making sure you are physically and mentally able to do so. For this, you need to be well-rested, hydrated and ready to conquer each day with renewed energy. By refueling yourself, you’re ensuring that you are giving the best version of yourself as a leader to your team.”
She said “Janny put your oxygen mask on first, it’s not selfish for you to do that. You need to take care of yourself first.” Hearing that made something click, was this the validation I needed to start being more selfish when it comes to myself? Was this a green light to just think about myself first? It’s like it finally clicked that I can do it. So from that conversation I kept thinking nonstop about two things 1. What I wanted and 2. What I needed. and I can’t wait to finally tell you guys next time about those two things!
I don’t think I can truly express the emotions I’m feeling right now, and how I see God moving in everything I put my mind to. Cindy, I am so grateful to not only call you a friend but a Mentor. You always come at the moments I need guidance the most and you shake me up when I feel stuck and remind me how amazing I am.
I don’t know if you’re finding yourself in a place in your life where you are always putting others before yourself or your own needs but take a moment to stop and breathe. Sure people will always need you but they will survive, you don’t always have to say yes. You don’t have to drown just so others can stay afloat. Like my dear friend said “Put on your oxygen mask first” then when you are ready and able you can help others.
Sometimes we don’t realize how amazing God can be in bringing the people you need into your life. So here’s to those that help mend what they didn’t break, check in even when you don’t reply, and push you to become greater than you ever dreamed. I’m grateful to all of those who put their oxygen masks on first so that they were able to help me with mines.
I leave you all with this quote;
“I think it’s important to put yourself first sometimes. Do what makes you happy. Say no when you don’t want to do something. Say yes to whatever you love, even if others don’t understand or support it. Choose yourself every now and then because if you don’t, then who else will?” -Kandi Steiner
Until our next unpacking, have a great day my lovelies!
Love Always,
Janny Mari
One Day at A Time with Janny Mari 