Who can be Youer than You?

Hey Guys, It’s  Wednesday December 15th. Hopefully at this moment you’re pretty comfy, relaxing, and in your favorite loungewear because today we’re going to unpack a little since life’s been pretty interesting.

Last week a coworker and I were talking and they asked me how I would rate them. The question completely threw me off guard because I honestly never thought of how I would rate a person. It’d be so much easier to just say you’re a good or bad person but it wouldn’t be very accurate. There are so many layers to just one person; there’s what we see on the outside but rarely does someone completely show who they really are, especially on the inside.  We as people tend to wear many hats (Parent Hat, Sibling Hat, Spouse Hat, Work Hat, With Friends Hat, With Family Hat.) Most of us only allow people to see what we want them to see.

For me at least, home is a safe place where I don’t always have to be smiling and doing something, I can just relax and be me. Now I’m not saying that I pretend to be someone I’m not but I tend to get drained a lot when I’m with family, coworkers, or friends since I always tend to be in the middle of things making people laugh, smiling all of the time, and making sure everyone’s okay. I’ve been told that my resting face isn’t the nicest and can be quite intimidating so if people don’t see me with a smile they either think I’m mad, upset, or going through something when literally I could just be thinking about when I’m getting more coffee.

What you see from me is really what you get. Am I guarded? Yes. Do I love hard? Absolutely. Can I be emotional sometimes? Yes. I’m human, I make mistakes, I have flaws,  and I think a lot of people forget that because I seem so well put together and carry what I go through well. I’m rambling aren’t I? Back to my discussion with my coworker. They asked me how I would rate him as a person and to my best abilities I tried to name a few of their great qualities. 

It wasn’t until after I told them about their qualities that I had begun to wonder how this person would rate me, well better yet how they viewed me. This person started to list right away: “You’re goal oriented, your laugh along with your personality compliment your demeanor, you’re very neat and very classy which is important. You explore a lot but especially in your head, You seem to wonder and wonder that it’s almost like you have more wonders than the Seven wonders of the world.  Sometimes if you want something you just need to go for it.” 

As I sat there listening to this person I couldn’t help but be very surprised because I wouldn’t have expected him to say all of that. Not because I didn’t believe those things to be true but because I forget that people can have their own opinions about you as a person.  Sometimes the problem lies in the fact that we try to impress others so that they think we’re cool or a certain way and we end up changing ourselves to fit their opinions of us because we think it matters. So many people try so hard to change and become someone that will fit the Status Quo but why not own who you are?

I am clumsy, I am forgetful, I cry watching shows and movies when I’m sad, if I feel like it’ll get too sad I’ll skip to a happier part.  Some days I just want to be in my room doing nothing but watching hallmark movies or just being still and not on the go. I can be very loud and obnoxious when I’m with my selected few.  Sometimes If something happens that hurts me or upsets me I tend not to show it and deal with it on my own in my safe space. When something really funny happens I laugh until my cheeks hurt and end up coughing a lot. I’m in my head a lot, always wondering and thinking, so many thoughts go through my head that I rarely say out loud and it’s nothing bad really just mostly thoughts on what I need to do or should be doing or how I could’ve handled a situation better. I used to put everyone’s feelings ahead of my own and that is something I am currently working on because I know that my feelings matter.

Why am I letting y’all know this? Because I used to be the type of person who wondered if people thought I was a good person, and I’m going to be honest I do not seek popularity or to be the best person in the room. I want to be the best version of myself, I don’t want anyone thinking I’m trying to compete against them because in reality I am competing with myself. I’m always wondering: Am I leaving a good impression with everyone I meet? Do people leave knowing they are cared for and special? Are the choices that I’m making following God’s will for my life. Am I a woman after God’s own heart? Are my actions pleasing to God? Do I carry myself well with grace and kindness? These are the thoughts that pass through my mind.

To be frank sometimes my thoughts towards myself aren’t so kind. I see attributes or traits in others that make me wonder maybe I should look like this, maybe I should be thinner, maybe I’m not as pretty, it’s not fair how this person looks like this. I’m not a materialistic person at all but the enemy sure does love attacking our self esteem, our self image, and our self worth huh? It’s so easy to hear the negative thoughts in the midst of a sea of positive thoughts. 

Through it all I can’t help but be reminded about what the Bible says about us in Genesis 1:27:

“So God created mankind in his own image,   in the image of God he created them;  male and female he created them.”

We tend to forget that we were created in the image of none other than God Himself. I don’t know about you but I haven’t seen His face but I know He is beyond what the word beautiful can describe.  We live in such a time that society dictates what the standards of beauty are but why not dare to think and be different? Why not wake up and realize that you are loved, you are desired, and you are precious? You are literally worth dying for and here we are letting these lies and thoughts about ourselves consume us.

Own who you are! Who cares if you’re Tall, Short, Skinny, Thick, or  different. Don’t you know that you are so amazing and unique that God made you because you are needed in this world. It’s so easy to think so little of ourselves when others seem so perfect. Have you ever heard of the quote “ The grass is greener on the other side” well another quote that stems off of that is that “The grass is greener where you water it.” Stop worrying about whether another person’s grass is greener than yours, grass comes in many different shades and to be honest who knows maybe their grass is fake? Remember just because it appears to be better doesn’t necessarily mean it is, not everything that shines is gold.

If you can take anything from my ramblings, it’s that even though the opinions of others don’t matter it’s nice to hear when others hold you to such a high esteem and respect you because you carry yourself well and demand respect. Lastly, remember that no one can define you or label you as not worthy, unloved, or ugly. Never give anyone the power of making you feel as if the world would be better without you because that isn’t true. 

In the words of Dr. Seuss:

“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”― Dr. Seuss

With that being said, until our next unpacking my lovely friends!

Love always,

Janny Mari