It’s Your Show:

Hello friends and Happy New Years! For those who are just coming across my page, welcome and for those of you who have been keeping up with my posts you already know. Find a nice comfy place free from distraction because today’s topic impacted me quite a bit.

I was having a conversation with a friend of mine and out of nowhere she said “Janny, remember this is your show. You allow what you want and you set your boundaries, just go along for the ride and enjoy it.”  She said this to me quite a few times throughout our conversation and I know it’s because she wanted me to know how important it was that I understood that my life is my show.  We tend to forget that we are the main characters in our life, we are not the side character, not the best friend, not the comical relief, or the extra. 

I know that sometimes we can’t help but think “how can I be the main character, I’m not pretty enough, smart enough, or popular. If anything I feel invisible, or maybe I’m just meant to help and support others so they can shine.”  Who says you can’t shine too? Who says you’re not pretty or handsome enough? Who says you’re invisible? See we truly forget how much power we have. We forget that we have a say in who takes an active part in our lives and we have a say on how we get to be treated.  

 I was always taught as a child that people will only treat you how you allow yourself to be treated.  In my almost 30 years of life I get why that was ingrained into my brain because my mom used to say “If you allow one person to walk all over you then you open the door for others to walk all over you.”  So needless to say I learned that if I wanted to be respected I had to demand it with my character, with how I treat others, and most importantly by respecting myself as a daughter, sister, teacher, friend, coworker, and most importantly as a Woman. 

It’s sad to say but I’ve known people who didn’t know how to value themselves, or they didn’t respect themselves and because they didn’t set any boundaries then people would treat them poorly. Now I’m not saying anyone is asking for it because everyone deserves to be respected but I was taught that if you don’t want someone to treat you a certain way then speak up. Don’t stay quiet just because you’re afraid of losing someone whether it be a family member, friend, or significant other. If they can’t treat you with the respect you deserve then they don’t deserve to have as much access in your life. Now I can’t tell you to treat someone the way that you’re treated because as a Christian we learn to love and forgive but something that needs to be talked about more is setting boundaries and knowing that not everyone deserves to be in your life.

[Boundaries] that was a big word for me last year because sadly I wasn’t good at setting them in the sense that I would always say yes to helping everyone even when I didn’t have the strength to.  I could literally feel like I was drowning in all of my responsibilities but if you’d ask me for a favor I would also go out of my way to help you. I learned the hard way that you can’t help someone if you keep pouring into others cups but you’re not refilling yours.  You see, if you’re a giver by nature you have to remember that some people are takers and as long as you’re always willing to give they’ll never stop taking unless you speak up. Sadly that’s also when you realize that some people aren’t as genuine as you thought they were. Some people really are only in your life because of what you have to offer and yes that was also a hard learned lesson as well.  

I thank God that through it all my heart didn’t change or grow cold. I just became more cautious with who I allowed into my life and how much access they had to it.  If you ever feel like you’re running low or on empty don’t be afraid of using the word “No” I know it’s hard for us sometimes but really you’ll see how amazing it is to say. Now make sure when you say no that you’re actually resting, whether it be taking a nap, reading a good book, praying and asking God to renew your strengths daily, or just retreating by yourself and being still.  Setting boundaries is so important for our mental health, whether it be at work, school, at church, with family, friends, and significant others so don’t forget to set them.

I started to ramble a bit didn’t I? Back to it being YOUR SHOW.  Maybe the first few seasons haven’t been the best. You’re probably wondering when are you going to find the right one? Wondering when everything will come together and you finally get to work where you want, when you’ll have a great group of friends, and life is just going amazing. Maybe you’re wondering what kind of show your life will turn out to be. As far as I know I’m on Season 29: Episode 1, This season so far has been very interesting and different from the last. I’ve learned a lot from my previous seasons and I’ve grown mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. See as much as we want to give up because maybe the season you’re on isn’t going the way you hoped it would don’t give up. Like I’ve said in the past I’ve had moments I wish I could skip past, moments when I thought I couldn’t get up, moments when I was so tired. I may have shed a lot of tears but you know what I’ve definitely laughed more, have experienced love in such beautiful ways, have gone on adventures I never thought I would, and have met people I can’t imagine not having in my life. It doesn’t matter that it took me 29 Seasons to get here. I’m just happy to finally be in this part of my show and I can’t wait to see what Season 30 has in store for me. What I do know is that I’m going to enjoy this one to the max.

My lovelies, there is a season for everything and I want to leave you with this portion in the bible found in Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 

Everything Has Its Time

“To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven: A time to be born, And a time to die; A time to plant, And a time to pluck what is planted; A time to kill, And a time to heal; A time to break down, And a time to build up; A time to weep, And a time to laugh; A time to mourn, And a time to dance; A time to cast away stones, And a time to gather stones; A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing; A time to gain, And a time to lose; A time to keep, And a time to throw away; A time to tear, And a time to sew; A time to keep silence, And a time to speak; A time to love, And a time to hate; A time of war, And a time of peace.”

So maybe you’re not in the Season you thought you’d be in but you’re exactly where God wants you to be. Remember, this is YOUR SHOW, YOU are the main character, YOU set the boundaries, and YOU allow who you want to be a part of it. Thank you for being a part of mines!

Until our next unpacking, have a great day my lovelies!

Love Always,

Janny Mari