P.S I Love You

Hey Guys,

Hope this post finds you well, I hope this week hasn’t been too rough for you. How are you doing? No really like how are you actually doing? I don’t want that “Oh hey I’m doing pretty good thanks for asking” knowing darn well you’ve been feeling the weight on your shoulders and wish time could stop for a minute so you can catch up and breathe. I hope my posts are a breath of fresh air for you, I hope they are moments of peace and love in your life.  I know all too well what it’s like to put on a brave face all the while your heart is crying out for help and comfort.  So as you read this, grab your favorite blanket or teddy ( I promise I won’t tell anyone yes I’m talking to my guy friends too); get comfy cause this may get a bit mushy.

As I thought of what to write about next I couldn’t help but think of the overwhelming love I receive in my daily life. Love of course comes in all shapes, sizes, colors, and beautiful beating hearts. I know that I am someone who is blessed beyond measure. Not only do I serve a living loving God but the people who He has placed in my life have shown me a love so pure that even I question what in the world did I do to deserve it? Did I save a country? What could I have possibly done to earn their love, their care, and loyalty?

So many of my friends and family members speak positivity into my life, they pick me up when I can no longer walk, they push me and dare me to be better. Many of them have been so hurt and betrayed in life and yet when they look at me all I see is unconditional love. See I have this habit that when I’m with my people I can’t help but look at them, well stare at them with love.  Most of the time they tell me to cut it out and stop looking at them like that but I can’t help it. I get so lost in my thoughts about how lucky I am that they are mine, that they are actually in my life, maybe the feelings I feel can be compared slightly to the love a parent might feel towards their child; unbiased, protective, and full of admiration.  I’ve been told that when I love I love hard and it’s true, I have many friends but few are my people, the ones that I just stare at and wonder how is it possible that they love me so much.

To my people this is my love letter to you, thank you for stealing me away last minute for adventures. For holding on to me as I cry and completely crumble.  Thank you for seeing the worst in me, the vulnerability in me and protecting me when I felt I couldn’t protect myself.  For laughs and midnight car rides.  For nights where we’d wake up in the middle of the night and you’d ask me if I were hungry knowing that only you were.  For times where we’d finish eachothers sentences. For kidnapping me from my own birthday party to buy ice cream.  For random Kpop dance breaks. For bringing me coffee just because you sensed I wasn’t caffeinated.  Thank you for knowing it’s hard for me to open up so you ask if I want to grab coffee knowing that I just needed a moment with you. Thank you for early morning hikes just to get a way if even for a moment. Thank you for the silly faces and horrible dance moves just to make me smile.  For knowing that I’m stubborn sometimes and try to save everyone when sometimes I’m the one who needs saving. For always being around just in case I fall or need help.  For reminding me where I left my phone and shoes. For all of the times you’ve lost me in the store and looked for me in the garden section knowing I’d be looking at plants.  For taking me to the aquarium at night and getting just as excited.  For making my dreams of diving with sharks a reality.  For all of our therapy sessions where we realize we’re just too good for this world haha.  For making me buy that outfit and shoes because you knew I’d look amazing.  For babying me especially when I got heartburn and wrapping me in a fluffy blanket and putting on a movie.  For late chinese dinners and morning Farmers Market trips.  For coming to the BTS concert and losing your voice with me.  For walks in the park as we talked about hopes, dreams, and goals.  For morning texts and voice note prayers.  For buying me my favorite chocolate when you know I’m mad at the world and for switching my laundry when I forget.  Thank you for all of the “sweetie dinner is ready and singing in the kitchen” and all of the “beba come watch tv with me.” For all of the hype during my photoshoots and for all of the “I miss you my sunshine.”

There are so many moments that I can share with all of you that make me appreciate my relationships with family and friends.  You see they compare me to the sun in their lives, the love they never knew they’d get to experience and all of the compliments you can think of and as much as you guys say you’re blessed it is I that is blessed with your presence. I thank God every day that He has blessed me with the love that others can only dream of. A love that I get to say is my reality. 

I want you to take a moment to think about those who you are grateful for, for those you can call in the middle of the night, for those who are willing to go on adventures with you.  When days get rough and you feel lonely, remember those who are for you and love you no matter what. Take a moment to reach out to them to let them know how important and valuable they are to you.  You never know if that call, text, facetime might just make their day. Everyone wants to be loved and cared for and I hope those closest to me know that I am truly lucky to have them in my life and in my heart. So here’s to you guys who make every day an adventure.

Here are some bible verses that I’d like to share with y’all:

Proverbs 17:17 “A friend loves at all times,

And a brother is born for adversity.”

Proverbs 22:24-25 “Make no friendship with an angry man,

And with a furious man do not go, Lest you learn his ways And set a snare for your soul.

I hope this serves as a reminder that it truly matters who you surround yourself with, because if you surround yourself with people who see the worst in life then you’ll focus on the worst. If you surround yourself with those who gossip about others, don’t be surprised when they talk about you. Your true friends will be there at your worst and will be there in your victories. My tribe isn’t filled with perfect people, we all have our flaws but my tribe is filled with dreamers, entrepreneurs, warriors, people who never allow me to give up, and who tell me like it is. I know you guys struggle and go through your own battles. I hope you guys know that when I look at you I see love, I see joy, I see strengths and courage. You are my counselors, my safe place, and my diaries. You are truly one of a kind and for that I will always be grateful.

Now y’all know I gotta end this with a snippet  of a song from one of my favorite movies:

“You’ve got a friend in me. You got troubles and I got ‘em too. There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you. We stick together, we can see it through ‘cause you’ve got a friend in me.” – Toy Story

Song: “You’ve Got a Friend in Me” by: Randy Newman

P.S. I Love You!

Till our next unpacking, have a great day lovelies!

Love Always,

Janny Mari