“The Climb”

Hey everyone, how is your week going? I was really hoping to get a few posts out to you guys last week and even started one but didn’t have the time to finish.  I wanted to be able to finish the other one but that one can wait. Quick update I don’t know if I mentioned but I did finish seeing the Downton Abbey series and was able to see the movie last Sunday afternoon with a close friend.  It was everything I could’ve hoped for and more; I enjoyed how beautifully written it was and how it brought out such nice emotions.  Are there any movies you guys are looking forward to seeing? The next one I can’t wait to see is Jurassic World Dominion. I don’t know if I mentioned this before but growing up and even now I was absolutely obsessed with Dinosaurs; apart from thinking I was going to grow up being an Egyptologist I also thought I would become a Paleontologist.  So it’s safe to assume I have seen all of the Jurassic Park and Jurassic World movies. I hope this post is finding you well and that you have found a comfy spot cause we’re going to talk for a bit.

I honestly didn’t know what to write about next but I felt like the post I started to write wasn’t meant to be posted today. Today I want to talk to you about something I have finally overcome.  Getting My license.  You might be thinking Dannnngggg girl, you’re almost 30 how do you not have your license? Well you see there’s this thing called “Drivers Anxiety” and when I tell y’all it’s so real! The thought of me failing the test paralized me for years. I was so worried about making mistakes and failing that I didn’t even think of the positive side of just going for it.  So last year I began to try again to drive around. My parents would always try to push me to go for it but physically my thoughts paralized me from trying. I thank God for the people He’s placed in my life because I have this one friend and her name’s Jackie. She’s also the one who made my dream of diving with sharks a reality. Last year she asked me to stay over and we woke up really early and went to the park and we presented the day to God. We prayed and asked God to take control of our thoughts and help us create a list of goals we have set for ourselves.  On that list my priority was my spiritual life first. I wanted to surrender completely to God, to fall in love deeper with Him, and to grow spiritually. I asked Him to refine me and boy when I tell you that one hurt and still does because I am giving Him all of the control to touch every area in my life.  I have cried, have wondered why, have doubted, but through it all have trusted Him to do His will in my life.

My second Priority: getting my license. For most this was probably the easiest thing to accomplish, but for me it was the most terrifying. I had to somehow overcome my thoughts of failure and anxiousness. To convince myself that everything will be okay and that I could do this.  For years I have been paralized by the thought of failing that I didn’t even try to attempt taking my test and you know what after taking it last Wednesday I feel like kicking myself.  Granted it took a lot of prayer to calm my nerves. Hours and hours of practice learning how to get somewhat comfortable on the road and in the car. But you know what after finally going for it I feel so silly, I was petrified of something that took less than 15 minutes for me to do. Do you know how I had to convince myself? I kept praying for God’s peace over me, I kept telling myself that a few minutes of feeling uncomfortable will be worth it. Than a verse came to mind and it was 2 Timothy 2:7 

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”

I must’ve said this verse 20 times over myself until my mind, body, and soul felt at peace. God has not given me the spirit of Fear and yet here I was letting it overcome me and I was tired of letting fear win, that day I was going to show fear the God that I know.

I saw God move in every single moment last Wednesday and knew that because He was with me I would pass. I wasn’t really sure since I made up my mind that even if I failed it would be okay but my goal was just to pass.  When the instructor said I passed I was elated and finally a weight that weighed so heavily over me was lifted.  My only regret is that I didn’t try sooner but God knows everything; maybe I wouldn’t have been ready before.  

There are many things that cause fear in us, I can not and will not judge you for the things that stress you out, hold you back, and may cause fear and anxiety over your life but what I will do is speak a word over your life.  Please learn from me, learn that life isn’t something to figure out. You will have amazing moments of victories but you will also experience failures. It was the failing part that scared me and I had to learn to accept that it was a part of life and very much needed sometimes. 

“A failure is not always a mistake, it may simply be the best one can do under the circumstances. The real mistake is not trying.” – B.F. Skinner

It’s like this is finally the season in my life when I realize that it is okay to struggle, it is okay not to have it all together, it is okay to fail and it is okay to be vulnerable.  It’s okay if you’re not in this season of your life yet but don’t allow yourself to be consumed by fear. There’s a song that comes to mind that I love and I want to share the lyrics with you.

The Climb: Miley Cyrus

I can almost see it 

That dream I’m dreaming

But, there’s a voice inside my head saying

You’ll never reach it

Every step I’m taking

Every move I make feels

Lost with no direction

My faith is shaking

But I, I gotta keep trying

Gotta keep my head held high

There’s always gonna be another mountain

I’m always gonna wanna make it move

Always gonna be an uphill battle

Sometimes I’m gonna have to lose

Ain’t about how fast I get there

Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side

It’s the climb

The struggles I’m facing

The chances I’m taking

Sometimes might knock me down, but

No, I’m not breaking

I may not know it

But these are the moments, that

I’m gonna remember most, yeah

Just gotta keep going

And I, I gotta be strong

Just keep pushing on, ’cause

There’s always gonna be another mountain

I’m always gonna wanna make it move

Always gonna be an uphill battle

Sometimes I’m gonna have to lose

Ain’t about how fast I get there

Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side

It’s the climb

Keep on moving, keep climbing

Keep the faith, baby

It’s all about, it’s all about the climb

Keep your faith, keep your faith

This song literally explains everything I feel and have felt in many situations I’ve been through.  I don’t know about y’all but when My friend takes me on a hike we never go the easy route we always take the climb. You may ask why and it’s because most views that are worth seeing require a climb.  If you’re anything like me there are times when you try to go fast uphill to get it over with and then you get tired and need to slow down to catch your breath. You may need to rest for a little bit before continuing and maybe you might be wondering how in the world did you get to this moment and actually agreeing to do this.  There are times you may stumble, times where you may go down the wrong path (which I’ve done no shame in that). Times where I wonder when is it going to end; when am I going to finally see the end. The crazy thing is that every single time we reach the top I instantly forget everything I had to go through to get there. My soreness goes away, I catch my breath, and I’m always so amazed by what I see. 

If you take anything away from today’s post I hope you take away that it’s okay to fail, it’s okay to get scared as long as it doesn’t take over your life, and it is okay to struggle.  It just means that you’re living and trying to figure out life just like the rest of us. Let me remind you that you are brave, you are strong, and you can do anything you set your mind to!

I leave you with this quote from my guy Pooh from Winnie the Pooh;

“Life is a journey to be experienced, not a problem to be solved.” 

Until our next unpacking, have a great day lovelies!

Love Always,

Janny Mari