Why me?”

Hi guys!

Well, it’s currently a rollercoaster on this side of things but I could definitely say I’m in the midst of a learning season. Let’s just say I’m learning A LOT at once. Some of the most important life lessons are taught by God, through His Word and our own personal experience. There is a saying my mom always says in Spanish, “nadie aprende en cabeza ajena,” which means that no one learns in someone’s head. What she meant to say was that there are certain elements of life that could only be learned by personally living a certain experience, and through such, the person could realize or notice what was trying to be taught to them by someone’s. I could honestly tell you that the older I get, the more I realize how correct my mom was. We can be stubborn to learn certain things and it is not until we experience them ourselves that we fully grasp the concept of the lesson. What can I say? I can be a little stubborn sometimes!I’m just grateful that God is so patient with me even when I attempt to ignore His warnings about certain things/people.

I was trying to decide what I wanted to share with you guys this month. Honestly, I have been contemplating for a while only because some things are still taking some time to digest, and others are just best to be reserved. I was having a chat with God, and I heard myself say, “why me?” At first, I thought that the Lord would be highly offended with my question honestly. Not only because the question didn’t come from genuine curiosity, but because I blurred it out from a place of complaint, confusion and frustration. I could just picture God, who sees and knows it all, looking down at me, “are you done?”

Have you ever had a situation in your life where you genuinely become frustrated and wonder what the Lord saw in you to place you in that situation in the first place? I don’t know about you but whenever I’m placed in a situation that seems far beyond my ability to be able to handle it, I wonder the same too. It almost feels like that part of the Lion King when Simba tries to roar at the hyaenas because of how scared he is. That small, fragile side of us becomes so vulnerable during certain situations that we feel often lost, confused, frustrated, helpless. I could feel myself like a little Simba experiencing fear and making every effort to defend himself only to be mocked and ridiculed by the Hyaenas.

Right after my conversation with God I saw a reel on Instagram where a lady was speaking and asked, “why not you?” I was honestly surprised and inside of myself said “so You (God) were listening?” The truth is that there is something on the inside of you that has already been embedded and intertwined in your spiritual DNA that tells God you are the most appropriate and qualified person to handle the season that you are in right at this very moment. He has not reviewed, compared or considered anyone else because HE CHOSE YOU. If you are anything like me, this might sound a little cliché, but the truth is, certain seasons, certain situations, are designed to be overcome by you, and, honestly, who are we to tell the expert who should be chosen?

I have been thinking about this very thing a lot this season, about being chosen and appointed for “such time as this.” I know people refer to this when describing positive, almost euphoric moments of victory in a certain area, generally ministry wise where the person is pictured as this leader almost like an army soldier tightening his/her boots to get ready to go into battle with a swollen chest of pride and a straight posture. But what if we also thought about this concept when describing hard seasons too. “You are being challenged for such times as this,” “you are being pressured for such times as this.” There is a triumph that also comes from going through certain hard situations because while they might break your heart, as I heard before, they open your perception and expand your spiritual vision. You can no longer see the same situation through the same lens of ignorance because what you went through also came with wisdom. Simba was a young and immature cub, but eventually he became an adult lion who later had to make decisions for himself. Little did he know that he would have to learn how to move on from loss, learn to take responsibility, and eventually become a strong leader.

Another one of my favorite parts about the scene I previously mentioned is when Mufasa quickly comes and rescues His son Simba. I could only imagine the relief Simba felt at that moment to know that his father arrived at his rescue, and he didn’t have to fight alone. Simba didn’t have to do it alone and neither do we. It often feels like we are the only ones going through certain seasons, but the truth is, even when we are not the only ones, like my mom mentioned there are certain lessons that are meant to be learned by us going through them ourselves. They cannot be read about enough to learn them. You probably know other people around you who’ve been through the same situation. Sometimes we try to find a quick solution out of desperation to eradicate our pain and suffering by asking people, “so what did you do when you went through it?”, but, my friend, that’s your season, own it! Learn from it! It might feel lonely at times, but you’re not alone! There is something on the inside of you called strength and God placed it there because it can only come from Him. There are traits, characteristics and prior experience that fully qualifies you for this season. We are going to go through the valley, but we are not meant to stay there. I want to leave you with the following quote by one of my favorite authors,

“If I were your enemy, I’d devalue your strength and magnify your insecurities until they dominate how you see yourself, disabling and disarming you from fighting back, from being free, from being who God has created you to be. I’d work hard to ensure that you never realize what God has given you so you’ll doubt the power of God within you.”

— Priscilla Shirer

With love,

Perla

Pages: 1 2

“The Woman behind the screen…”

Hey Everyone,

How are you guys doing? As the school year is ending and summer is near, how are you guys going to spend it? Anything exciting planned? I’ve got a few things planned and am going to be working on a few important projects that I can not wait to share with you but all in do time. I hope y’all are taking each day one at a time and remember that each day brings new adventures if we’re willing to look for them. Now let’s get comfortable and chat for a bit.

Today’s blog is going to be a little different, I’ve been writing to you guys for almost 2 years, 2 YEARS! I know I can’t believe it either. So I thought why not let you guys get to know the woman behind the screen, behind “One Day At A Time.”

Where do I start? I’ve been wondering about what to share with you guys, what can I share that will let you know me better.

Growing up, I was goody two shoes. I wanted to be the perfect daughter, student, and sister. Now that I’m older I wish I didn’t put that pressure on myself. I wish I allowed myself to take greater chances and to be okay with failing.

I loved to read, which Ironically I needed help in the Fourth grade with becoming a better reader. To this day I am thankful for my Fourth grade teacher Mrs. Delgado, you see though I had trouble with reading she took her time so that I can get better. It was because of her that my passion for reading and for wanting to become a teacher came about. She showed me that if you nurture and have enough patience with someone you can help them become amazing students. That’s where my love for reading began, also when I became A huge Harry Potter fan. Not only did she help me understand she also allowed me to travel and experience so many different places without leaving the comfort of my bedroom.

In Elementary, I also started to play the Trombone and that itself allowed me to have amazing opportunities like playing with the Boston Symphony, joining the Marching Band in Highschool and led me to play the trombone for 14 years. Yes, I was in all essence a Book nerd, a Band geek, and a Geek geek. I love anything to do with Star Wars, Star Trek the OG cast and Star Trek Next Generation with my guy Jean-Luc Picard, all of the lord of the Rings movies, Doctor Who and so much more. So you could imagine just how popular I was haha

Growing up my family and I watched all of the classics, and our third language happens to be “Movie reference” it’s actually one thing I love most about my family that even though we look so serious it takes one person to mention a reference and the next thing you know we’re all making movie references and acting scenes out.

Not to mention I grew up listening to Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, The Rat Pack. Watching many musicals and lots of older television shows, including those in black and white. I have my dad to thank for many of my interests because growing up we would watch and hear these together.

I also have a passion for watching baking and cooking shows. To this day when I bake my friends and family ask if I’m okay because Baking relieves lots of stress for me and usually when I bake it’s because I’m destressing. My absolute favorite time of year to bake is fall and my family’s favorite because they get to have all of the yummy fall treats.

My favorite season is Fall because I love the leaves changing color, apple picking, Crips cool days, and of course my Birthday is in November. Winter is my Second favorite because there’s just something magical and incredible about Christmas and experiencing a WInter wonderland.

I grew up very tomboyish, I guess it can be attributed to the fact that I wasn’t a girly girl. I enjoyed playing outside and getting dirty. It also didn’t help that I grew up with nothing but brothers and boy cousins. It was a tough world back then and being the oldest you had to survive or get trampled on, which Ironically I was trampled by my uncles who were near my age on my 9th birthday during the smashing of MY BIRTHDAY PINATA. But I don’t have time to unpack that trauma haha.

My favorite color is Mauve pink and any shade of pink in that spectrum. I never thought I’d be a pink girl since most of the time I’m either wearing all black, neutrals, or bright colors. It really does depend on my mood. Growing up I was that girl who was really into purple but now I’ve realized I’m a mauve pink girl, with days of black, and the random blue, and sage green.

My dad was a football and basketball coach for our town so you can imagine any free time was spent on afternoons practices, and weekend games. Which I didn’t mind too much seeing as I was able to bring my books and enjoy being outside. My Mom’s was always in the field of helping others so from a young age she taught us to be compassionate and to treat everyone with respect so she would take us to food drives and tell us that one day it’s them but it can be us. So whenever we can be kind and give a helping hand we should. She would also make sure we went on a lot of adventures and had a busy fun filled calendar in the summer. No matter how big or small and I think that’s why I love all kinds of adventures now. She was the kind of mom that taught by throwing us head in and then putting bandaids on us letting us know to always try again. That’s how I learned how to swim and rollerblade.

Growing up I loved learning about anything to do with History, I loved learning about the medieval times and ancient History. I loved learning about Greek mythology and Egyptology. For those who know me, my love for Egypt only continued to grow and two years ago I was able to study An Ancient Egypt Art and Archaeology course at Harvard. I also love learning about languages and studied a year of Mandarin at CCSU.

My Favorite animals are Sharks and Giraffes. To the point that Shark Week is one of my favorite times of the year and my dad and I would watch it all week long. 2 years ago I was actually able to live my dream of being able to dive with 9 sharks in a tank. It’s actually one of the first blogs I wrote about here. It’s titled “Shark dive” if you’d like to read about my experience you can definitely find it there. Don’t get me started on Giraffes, I don’t know why they are also my favorite but whenever I go to the zoo and I know they’re there I have to run and see them and maybe shed a tear or two. I have a huge Giraffe plushie named Gerald and honestly he goes with me on all of my travels because one) He makes a great pillow 2) why not? Yes I’m 30 but you know what that’s my business. I know it’s a bit dramatic but that’s me.

I can not forget to mention that I absolve and need coffee, Iced Caramel to be exact and with a non dairy creamer because not only does your girl need help seeing she also is allergic and sensitive to dairy. Plants and the Ocean are my go to calm things. The instant I’m at a plant nursery or hear the waves and feel the ocean breeze I’m at peace.

Now onto me as a person. I want to say I’m pretty simple but honestly I’m a bit complicated. My personality is very bubbly, outgoing, described as a ball of sunshine. I can be seen as an extrovert but that is only with a select few. I think I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again. I enjoy spending time with myself, I enjoy thinking and talking to God. It took a while to explain it but I am someone that after a while I tend to get overstimulated especially when I’m always helping others, and working on things without enough rest. Sometimes I can catch when I’m being overstimulated and my mom would ask if I’d like to go for a ride and get coffee. My mom is truly my best friend, it’s hard for me to get vulnerable with others but as a mother she has a way of getting those words to come to the surface. She has grown so much and has created a safe space for me to be vulnerable with her. Sometimes I don’t like what she has to say even though it’s filled with truth. Now my Dad is my twin and a man of few words (depending on the situation) but one hug from Him and a “it’ll be okay sweetie” does just the trick.

This woman behind the screen can be serious on the outside and filled with so many emotions on the inside. I know that I seem so calm and collected but to be honest I get overwhelmed by many things. By having so many hats to put on, don’t get me wrong I love who I’m becoming as a person but it can be hard. There are quite a few that depend on me to be strong, to come up with solutions, to lend an ear and in my humanness sometimes I want to be selfish. I don’t want to come up with solutions, I don’t want to be the always go to person, I don’t want to always look put together. I don’t always want to humble myself, look for the good in others, and forgive especially when I did nothing wrong.

But that is why it’s so important to me to have my alone time, to separate myself from everyone, and recharge my battery. I can usually tell this is needed when I get angry or upset easily, when I have less patience with others, and when I don’t seem to be excited for many things. I don’t know if you can relate but when this happens it’s usually my time to unplug, breathe, and reevaluate what I’m prioritizing in my life. It’s usually around the time where I also need to read the Bible more, pray, and just worship.

You see I’ve spoken of my interests and what I’m like but the biggest thing in my life is the fact that I decided to serve God. I decided to say I no longer live but Christ lives in me and because I made this decision it means that no matter how I feel or may want to act the only thing that matters to me is that I honor God with everything I do and decide. As much as I may want to be selfish, and not be that go to person God didn’t create me to sit back, He created me to be a vessel, an instrument to be used to help others, to love them, to forgive and not question why. Being a Christian is the hardest thing I could have chosen but it was also the best decision of my life. I couldn’t imagine my life without God. He is my best friend, the one I can run to in my beautiful moments, in my shameful moments, in my victories, and in my disappointments. Y’all know I don’t shove this gospel down your throats but I wouldn’t be me If i didn’t say that there is a God, He is Alive, and there is no one like Him. He washed me of my sins, He completed me, and forgave me. He could’ve easily thrown a rock of judgment but instead He enveloped me in His arms. Do I deserve this? Absolutely not. WIll I fight for my Salvation? Everyday. Will He and can He do this with you too? Ofcourse!

So this is Me, Janny Marie Cruz Carias ( Did I mention I was Puerto Rican and Honduran?) Well yes I am and I am proud of both of my nationalities because they’re both filled with beautiful cultures. The only thing if I may add is that I’m a bit of a disgrace to both seeing as I don’t like Avocados or Corn tortillas, but I don’t think I’ve been kicked out of the cookouts just yet.

I hope this can give a bit of insight of who I am and why I am the way I am.

I leave you with some lyrics from one of my favorite Movies “The Greatest Showman”

“When the sharpest words wanna cut me down

I’m gonna send a flood, gonna drown ’em out

I am brave, I am bruised

I am who I’m meant to be, this is me

Look out ’cause here I come

And I’m marchin’ on to the beat I drum

I’m not scared to be seen

I make no apologies, this is me” – This is Me, The Greatest Showman

Until our next unpacking, have a great day my lovelies!

Love Always,

Janny Mari

Pages: 1 2

A Year and a Half At a Time

Hello My beautiful friends,

This post was meant to be written in October for my year anniversary but I took a little (well a lot) of time to myself. I kept wondering how I wanted to celebrate my first year with this blog and what better way then to celebrate with you all. So before I get all mushy and sappy I want to do a wellness check. How are you? Are you eating well? Are you bundled up for this cold weather? Or depending on where you are reading this from are you staying cool? Let’s take a long deep breath, I’m guessing it’s been a while since you’ve taken one of those. Let’s forget about the worries and doubts and let’s just enjoy these few minutes together. Now get comfortable, grab your snack and drink of choice, and let’s chat for a bit.

•EDIT• So as you can tell I started to write this last year but let’s continue.

Can y’all believe it’s been a year and a half??? I never thought I would be sitting here talking to you guys about “One Day At a Time” One year anniversary. I remember how long it took for me to even think about starting this, the nerves and doubts I felt wondering who would even want to read my blog. A year and a half later and I am so grateful to God and to all of my family, friends, and readers. To see that you guys are reading and commenting from all over the world is truly humbling to me because I never thought my words would reach anyone, let alone the world. I find myself telling God that I am not worthy of all the love and kind words I receive and yet I am so thankful.

The encouragement I receive daily is unfathomable, I never in my wildest dreams thought that when I started this that I would receive healing through the words I write, I never thought that I would be talking about subjects so deep and personal. Never did I think that I would feel as though weight has been lifted off of my shoulders and yet the more I wrote the more I received understanding. I am so thankful that so many were able to tell me how much they have related to my experiences, that even though I felt like I was digging up painful memories so many also experienced similar situations.

Now let me share an overview of my year:

In the beginning of the year I visited Burlington, Vermont for the first time and even though it was freezing cold it was quite the experience. We bundled up and what amazed me most was seeing the vast majority of mountains. During the winter season there is a lot of skiing and snowboarding, y’all already know this girl is pretty clumsy so I enjoyed visiting their shops and food.

I was also able to experience axe throwing for the first time, let me just say it is a lot harder than it looks. My friend Bekah took me and it took us a while to hit a bullseye. Heck it took me a while to not be scared to throw the axe in the first place.

I went to about 4 concerts and let me tell you if your mom isn’t your concert date then what are you doing? I’m so lucky that not only is she my mom she’s also my best friend and honestly the best person to go to a concert with. She enjoys every bit of it as much as I do.

We went to:

Toby Macs Hits Deep tour
Elevation Worship
Casting Crowns
Mercy Me

Went to many Paint nights, painted a lot of pottery and had many venting sessions:

Visited Stamford, Ct for the first time and had a girls weekend. It was definitely a much needed getaway. We visited some beautiful places including ‘Terrain’, Elm Street Diner, Fish Church, Cove Island, and The Capital Grill.

Over the summer & fall I worked a bit and went on a bunch of adventures with family and friends. Taking my nephew to museums, bowling nights, bonfires, random getaways. Going to the Big E, Pumpkin picking, and fishing trips. Most importantly I also got my Driver’s license!

Got to be a part of my closest friends’ weddings as a Maid of Honor and the other as a Bridesmaid; and witnessed a beautiful vow renewal.

Last August we got to go on a family vacation to Puerto Rico where we did everything and anything we could think of! Exploring caves, jumping from beach to beach every day, living in our bathing suits, hitting the bakeries for fresh bread, treats, and coffee. The amount of snorkeling, swimming, and jumping off of rocks and bridges. Hearing the coquis at night, fighting off chickens and roosters, running into iguanas. Many naps were taken along with finding cool refreshing treats to calm down the heat. Exploring the history of the Island and falling in love with its simple life. I would love to go more in depth but I’m leaving that for another blog.

The last few months were filled with getting closer to God, enjoying my small circle of friends, many paint nights, and movie nights.

The biggest month for me had to be November though. Not only is it my birth month, but I turned 30 and it wasn’t just an ordinary 30th. I turned 30 in Paris! It was a dream come true and like my comment on Puerto Rico I will be writing a separate blog to go into more detail because it truly was a Dream come true. I also was surprised by my loved ones with a 30th birthday party.

This year was hard, many lessons were learned, I cried so much, felt lost in my thoughts filled with worries and concerns but at the end of the day I can thank God for allowing me to live a year filled with answered prayers and dreams.

I’m so grateful to those who help me get through my years and hold me together while I continue to become the woman God wants me to be.

So much can happen in a year and if I’m grateful for anything it is for being able to spend this year being able to talk and share my life with you not only One day at a time but also A year and a half at a time.

I leave you with this:

A lot can happen in a year, don’t give up just because you don’t like the page you’re on. You never know what the next chapter holds.

Until our next unpacking, have a great day my lovelies!

Love Always,

Janny Mari

Pages: 1 2

“Make Space”

Hey everyone,

What an exciting week, I feel like we’re getting the ball rolling! I’m looking forward to soon being able to have the windows rolled down, breeze blowing through my hair, and my skin being sun kissed. I am in desperate need of Vitamin-Sea and my mind, body, and spirit feels it. There’s just something about being at the Ocean, smelling salty air mixed with sunscreen, getting your toes in the warm sand and hearing the waves crash into each other. Can you picture it? This to me is one of my favorite things to do in life, it calms me down and somehow centers me all at the same time. What is your favorite thing to do? What calms you in the midst of life’s storms? I leave this question with you. I hope your week is going well, I hope that whatever this week brings that you know that you guys have someone who is here and praying for you all. So you already know, before you continue reading grab some coffee, tea, or whatever your preferred drink is. Find yourself a comfortable spot and let’s chat for a bit.

*Edit* I started this blog a few weeks ago, and didn’t have the chance to finish it at the time. Ironically enough around this same time last year I wrote a blog titled “Taking Up Space” where I became very vulnerable and spoke of things I only kept inside of my heart. Reading back some of it made me realize that for many years I feared that I was taking up too much space physically and personality wise. But I am so grateful to have this outlet where I can be honest with you guys and receive amazing support. This time around I want to write about making space in our lives.

For years a dear friend of mine kept telling me to clear my emails because I had too many that were unread. For years I kept letting the emails pile on because it wasn’t worth the hassle to clean it up. A few weeks ago I decided to dedicate time to my emails. Let me tell you it wasn’t easy, I had over 180,000 unread emails. Before you judge I know I KNOW. So a whole day later, literally a whole day it took for that number to go to 0 and you know what it felt amazing! I was wondering what else I can free up and decided to clear up a lot of stuff off my phone. It didn’t take long for me to realize that I had to do the same with everything in my life. I then started to go through my clothes, things that no longer served purpose in my room and by this point I reached the inevitable.I had to make space in my life, my mind, and my heart.

There are a few things that I know I have to let go of, I can no longer hold on to something or someone that I became attached to just because of how many years I’ve had it or them in my life. I had to analyze if I held on to certain things because of comfort, because I’ve had them for so long, or because they’re actually needed in my life.

Have you ever held on to something or someone just because of the comfort that comes with it? Now don’t get me wrong I’m not asking you to cut everything and everyone out of your life. I’m asking you to take a moment away from everyone and everything and analyze what is worth taking up space in your life, is it worth the peace that it may be taking away, is it worth the anxiety it might bring. This is a crucial season for everyone because this is when we start to think about changing our wardrobe from benefitting the colder weather for one that benefits us in the warmer months that are coming along.

Is what you’re holding on to worth the space or is it time to make space for the new? I’m not only asking this for you, I’m asking this because this is something I am currently working on. I’ve held onto friendships that in the end ended up hurting me because they didn’t care about me, they cared about what I could give in the friendships, I’ve held on to men who I thought could be the one because of the potential I could see in them and I am going to be honest to all who are reading this right now. No person is worth the space they take up in our hearts and minds just solely on the potential we see in them. They are not worth the peace they take, nor the confusion they bring. Neither should we lower our standards for someone so that they can feel comfortable. I have learned in serving an amazing God that having standards isn’t wrong because I know how I hold myself, I know what I contribute to everything I do, I know what I can do with everything that is put in my hands. At the end of the day keeping space open enough for that person will always be worth it.

The same goes for jobs, so many people stay miserable in a job that may belittle them, may not appreciate them, or value them because they are too scared to seek new opportunities or too comfortable to move. If I would’ve stayed at my old job just because I was scared to move, scared to ask for a raise, scared to make space for new things. I would’ve missed out on so many beautiful opportunities. It’s hard to make that leap, don’t get me wrong but when you trust God and learn to trust your gut you will be amazed at what you can do and experience. Now I work at a job I love doing and have grown so much from. I’ve learned so much from my coworkers and from the students I help daily but it only came because I was willing to make the space for it.

Life is hard, work is hard, relationships are hard, family and friendships are hard but these are things we have to work at constantly. I hope that if you can take anything away from this it’s that you have to reevaluate your life constantly. Think about the choices you make, the ones you need to make, and look at every aspect of your life closely. There are so many things and people worth holding on to but there are also things and people that we need to make space for.

I leave you with these quotes;

“Sometimes you just need to be alone, that’s okay. It doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you, or even that anything is wrong in your life. Sometimes you need to create the space to soul search , recover, think, rest, and just be. You don’t have to apologize for needing or taking space. It’s part of what makes you a happy, healthy person.”
Unknown

“Clearing clutter- be it physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual- brings about ease and inspires a sense of peace, calm, and tranquility.”
Laurie Buchanan

Until our next unpacking, have a great day my lovelies!

Love always,

Janny Mari

Pages: 1 2

“Give it another try.”

Hi guys!!

So as I was brainstorming a topic for this month’s blog I felt stuck for a moment. I decided to put a pin on it and revisit my thoughts because I have been involved in multiple things lately and I felt like I couldn’t quiet my mind enough to focus on sitting down and writing. As I’m writing this I’m sitting on my bed with my laptop on my lap, featuring the craziest messiest curly bun you could possibly think of and contemplating if my legs are working enough to go get a bite to eat after a long day. The truth is sometimes we chase inspiration at the time that is the most convenient to us but sometimes it comes at unexpected times; I like to call it a “God thing.”

The truth is, it has been rough friends! You guys probably do not know but I got a new position 5 months ago within the same company I have been working for the past 2 years. Yet my new position required me to learn other functions that I was not exposed to before. Sometimes when I’m learning something new and I’m unsure of what I’m doing I feel very incompetent, sometimes even frustrated. My natural inclination is to want to be in control, not because I necessarily want to be self-sufficient all the time (I always depend on my God) but because I honestly do not like asking people questions and “bothering them” with my incompetence. When I first started I would ask a million questions about navigating the system to find what I needed to complete in this new role. I would apologize so many times for asking questions and wanting to fully learn what I needed to do to complete my tasks well.

During this time I was provided worksheets, templates and sorts of guides that looked like complete scribbles to my brain or to my new mom brain. I felt like I couldn’t grasp the concept of certain tasks within our electronic system and that made me quite frustrated at times. I will be honest and say I was giving myself little to no grace. I sometimes even let the feelings of inadequacy create unnecessary anxiety for me. I would stretch that feeling as far as thinking “maybe I’m not the right person for this job.” I would occasionally even wonder how my coworkers would look at me asking “so many questions.” Isn’t our mind something powerful? Quite destructive sometimes? It can create assumptions and imaginary scenarios that are very far from actual reality. No wonder the darts the enemy throws In our minds can be so effective if we are not covered and shielded by the Word of God.

In the past 2 weeks my company has been training all staff to transition to a new system that is supposed to be more efficient. Yet, in the midst of the unknown that same frustration wanted to creep in again. “Here we go again” I thought, “right where I was 5 months ago.” Now not only am I learning a new system but I have to join others, including my coworkers, to learn the same system also. Not to sound cliche but it literally feels like “a blind guiding another blind” we were not getting anywhere!

Somehow I changed my approach this time. Today was day two and I had determined in my mind to first, change my attitude, then change my thinking about this new learning experience. Sure enough today is day two and I could confidently say I feel so much more sure of what I’m doing. I was able to help others learn and obtain the resources they needed. I felt myself getting anxious a few times, but I wanted to continue to keep myself grounded while others watched what I was teaching them. That same hope I felt after doing the task repeatedly to teach others, I was able to see it in others while they were learning from me. Sometimes we forget the impact we have on others when we first focus on doing the work within ourselves. Often when we face something for the first time and fail or don’t perform to our own standards it could be very easy to abandon the task to avoid feeling insecure, ridiculed or even sometimes like a bother. Similar to how I felt when I first returned to work after having a baby. I found and continue to be reminded that giving it another try can help you improve each time, and when you learn, you are able to pass it along to others.

Honestly, If I would have decided to remain indulging in anxiousness and racing thoughts about my inability to learn the task during the first try I probably would have missed the opportunity to help others along the way. The learning phase of all this is not over yet, we still have multiple days of constant training and practice so we can do it correctly and eventually be more efficient. There are other things pending that need to be shown to us that are also necessary to record the information in the system. However, just because we are still learning doesn’t mean we can stop helping. Our perception of failure is not the end of the road, something better is at the other side of your insecurity…

I want to leave you with the following verse that has deeply impacted my life in moments when I feel inadequate, or I feel like I have reached roadblock when learning something new:

“For a just man falleth seven times, and riseth up again…”

-Proverbs 24:16

As children of God, there are some fighting and persistent genes that already have been embedded within us! TRY AGAIN!

With love,

Perla

Pages: 1 2

Meeting Meryl:

Hey Everyone,

I know I know, it’s been a while, no excuses this time. I mention it almost every time now how badly I feel for not being as consistent with my blogs. I’m learning every day that life happens and instead of me getting blogs out just to get them out I want to provide blogs that will be impactful. Sometimes that means me being in the right headspace and taking my time. I hope you’re doing well. The weather has been wild, some days we get beautiful warm days and other days I’m wondering if I should wear a winter coat. As I contemplate what to share with you guys I take a bite of my cookie and thank God that it is Friday. I have some special things planned soon that I look forward to but I wanna know. How are you all doing? Have you guys been kind to yourselves? With so many things happening around the world I feel like the world could use more kindness and love. Not only to ourselves but to others. Everyone is fighting a battle we can’t see and I do believe that we as humans can be very selfish. When was the last time you thought about someone else before thinking about you and your problems?

I get that life is hard but wouldn’t it be more bearable if we learned to lean on each other a little bit more? Yes I understand that there are those that take advantage. But what about those that find it hard to lean on others? What about those that feel like they’re yelling for help but no one is listening? I know, I’m starting out a bit rough huh? It’s just so hard for me to sit still and watch others not care. With all of this being said, I’ll start to write what I wanted to share with you guys. So get comfortable, take a deep breath, and let’s chat for a bit.

This past weekend I went to Maine with my mom and dad. Let me tell you, there’s such a special bond between your parents as you shift into your 30s. Of course they will always be my parents but now I get to enjoy their company as dear friends. What do I mean by that? Growing up I only saw them as authority figures, but now I get to learn more about their past, their struggles, their strengths, and their interests. I get to see them through different colored lenses. I see their hair is greyer, I see new wrinkles formed around their eyes from all of their laughter. I appreciate their wisdom and goofiness. When did this happen? When was this shift made? I don’t know but all I can say is that I’ve fallen more in love with them because they are not only my confidants, they are my partners in crime, my shoulders to lean on. Sometimes we take advantage of our parents and I see so many kids trying to make their own way out in the world that they push their parents aside. Instead of pushing them aside, why not try to understand them? Why not forgive them for their past mistakes, why not see what they’ve overcome and celebrate them too? Alright that’s enough about them haha let’s get to the real reason I’m here, Meeting Meryl.

My parents and I went to Maine, after some sight seeing and an important event we decided to go to Texas Roadhouse. We were seated pretty quickly and were just enjoying eachothers company when our server came. She was sweet, welcoming, and made sure we got out bread and butter (which if I’m being honest this is the only reason I came to Texas Roadhouse). She would check in on us a few times, apologizing for our food taking so long but honestly we didn’t mind at all. We continued sharing stories from the past week and laughing, when she came by again I apologized because we were laughing so loudly and she mentioned that she didn’t mind. The more we spoke she said that we reminded her of her own family, she mentioned her Ba, her mom, and sister. We instantly clicked and suddenly someone we met half an hour before became someone we felt we knew for a while. She shared stories of her family, how she also has her Ba wrapped around her finger, and how we both make pouty faces at them when we want or need something. We didn’t know it at that time but with the sincerity and love in her voice as she spoke about her family and how much she misses them we could tell that maybe just maybe for an hour we became her Puerto Rican Family.

As she spoke about them and how they all lived in Albania even I began to miss a family I never knew, but hearing about them through her I could just tell that they are as special as mine. I couldn’t be any more grateful that though I could’ve been with friends I was with my best friends, at an awesome restaurant, eating the best buttery bread and sweet butter the world has ever known, Meeting Meryl.

To my dear sweet friend Merly, it was a pleasure meeting you, and an honor to have you sit at our table if only for a moment.

To my friends & readers who are reading this blog; let’s be a little kinder, let’s share a smile, let’s laugh a little louder. The right people will always find you.

And so I leave you with this quote;

“I love meeting new people, I think everyone has a story to tell. We should all listen sometimes.”

Kim Smith

Until our next unpacking, have a great day my lovelies!

Love always,

Janny Mari

Pages: 1 2

“My Confidence”

Written By: Perla Aviles

Hello there!

It’s been a while since I have written around here. Actually, since the last time Janny asked me to write something your girl has grown quite a bit. She is a little more confident these days. God is showing me some things about myself that I didn’t know I had within me.

How wonderful that with God we never stop learning and experiencing Him in a new way!

Well let’s get into this, shall we?

This time I want to speak more about that growth in my confidence over the years. I have always been the girl who is perceived as very confident, but if someone had an MRI machine of some sort they would probably see the true reality going on on the inside me. The truth is, I have struggled my whole life with shrinking myself to fit the size of someone’s opinion of me or their perception of me. This has caused me to experience a lot of pain and frustrations in the past because I wasn’t living the truth of God for my life or the design He intended for me, I was the living size of my insecurities and fears walking around wondering what box I needed to fit in next.

Yet, I can’t help but to look back and be so glad I experienced that. Yes! Glad! Now I see the schemes of the enemy a little clearer when he tries to come back and challenge the standards and attributes God has placed on the inside of me. Now, even when I’m scared, I take leaps of faith and trust God a little more. Trust that He knows best and that His will is “good, acceptable, and perfect” (Romans 12:2). This means that He knew this world needed a me to fulfill exactly that, HIS PURPOSE, and that my characteristics are part of His perfect plan for my life and so are yours. God knows that there is YOU that is needed for this time, with the exact characteristics and personality traits He designed for you even before you were born (Jeremiah 1:5, NKJV).

There are two things that honestly prevented me in the past from being more confident in the Lord. While not in every occasion I was very insecure, these roadblocks did make it difficult to walk into His purpose with little more authority at times:

The first is negative self-talk. I wish I could blame others for all the times I was insecure about myself or that I would rob myself of the joy of finding my confidence in God. The reality is, I used to do the dirty work all by myself. I, alone, would believe the dart of lies the enemy would throw at me like I was his perfect target. I, alone, would diminish myself with talking down on the talents and gifts the Lord so graciously gave me to use them for HIS GLORY. While I’m not perfect since we all have our days, there is something that I had to internalize just like I used to internalize the lies of the enemy; my confidence and strength comes from the Lord and comparison would rob me of that same joy He intended for me to have.

Coming from a family where women are very self-sufficient, strong, independent, it wasn’t easy to stripped of the old ways of thinking that were culturally embedded in me and instead take upon the Word of God and plaster it all over my heart. I had to constantly remind myself that my heart could no longer endorse the wicked tricks, the fear of what others would say, the negative thinking, and the self-sufficient spirit. I had to draw my strength and confidence from a different source; His name is Jesus, my counselor, the one whose resurrection power lives within me and you!

The second is honestly the weapons formed through the negative talk from other people. I don’t think everyone wakes up and intentionally determines in their heart to hurt others. Sometimes we just do it unintentionally by sharing our opinions that only reflect our own thinking, values, beliefs, but those things are not the same for everyone. There are stereotypical ways of thinking that came from the way that we were raised and we are all raised differently so

what might be true for you, might not be true for me. Words still hurt! Now I always try to remember that before hurting someone because I know what it feels like to be hurt by other people’s words. When I do hurt someone, I try to tend to that wound by asking for forgiveness. I know what it feels like to be asked to be forgiven and I want others who are ever hurt by my words to experience that too.

Unfortunately, I can’t always control what other people say and honestly neither can you. People are their persons independently from you. We have to find other ways to fight against resentment, bitterness, hurt that are more spirituality effective than internalizing those words as absolute truths. One of those weapons, along with prayer, is actually confidence and I want to briefly (I’ll do my best to be brief lol) explain why I had to learn this.

Hebrews 10:35-36 says, “So do not throw away this confident trust in the Lord. Remember the great reward it brings you! Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God’s will. Then you will receive all that he has promised.”

Confidence, more especially, in the Lord allows us to develop endurance to do the Lord’s will. When you have complete trust in the Lord, His will you will do. God will always keep His promises. The reward we will receive, the inheritance, the privilege of joining Him in our eternity is attached to our obedience to His word. Therefore, confidence in itself might not be enough since it relies on human strength and abilities to perform. Trust in the Lord, however, makes you rooted enough to not be affected or pressured by social standards or negative talk from others. The confidence in the Lord is able to withstand the wicked strategies from the enemy to paralyze you enough that you desire to no longer do the Lord’s will, therefore robbing you of the privilege of joining Him one day.

So here is the thing… I am not about to sabotage my eternity over lack of belief in the Word of God, in His promises, and on who He has made me to be. Honestly, if I was God, I would be highly offended as a matter of fact. I think of it like this: God sent His son, took the time to create me, give me a purpose, and even offer me to join Him one day. Why would I disregard and undervalue such a privilege and such a gift over my lack of certainty in His Word when His Word has endured and will endure forever?

Every time I think about how God has come through for me in the most impossible, to my human eyes, of situations, when I thought there was no way out, He actually rescued me. God has the most reliable record that I have ever seen anyone have in my life. I grew up in a very dysfunctional family so TRUST ME! I would know.

So my dear friend, I invite you to walk into that confidence in God. I’m still working on it myself, I’m not perfect, but I have come a long way. Sometimes people mistake confidence with pride. Confidence in God is trusting who He is and what He said. Pride is self-centered and a deep satisfaction found in one’s self. There is nothing I could do that could surpass the goodness, the faithfulness, the mercy, and the love of my GOD.

If you are reading this and you have struggled to see yourself the way God does, you have struggled to trust in what He said, that you are FEARFULLY and WONDERFULLY made (Psalm 139:14) I want you to pray the following with me:

“Lord, I come before you recognizing that if I trust in my abilities and strengths I might become anxious and worried. I acknowledge that I am the work of Your hands and that in You I find what I lack. Create in me an unwavering spirit rooted in the firm foundation that is Jesus. Help me to trust You always even in the face of negative thinking, negative talk and even of my own insecurities. I pray for confidence to walk knowing that You love me, that You have called me, that You cleansed me and set me free. I receive Your strength in exchange for my weaknesses. In Jesus’s name I pray. Amen.”

If you prayed that with me, my hope is that you will start studying about being confident in the Lord more and that God places a fire within you to trust in Him and His Word more than you did before.

Your friend,

Perla

Pages: 1 2

Falling In Love

Hey Guys,

How are y’all doing? Hope this new month is treating you well. Life has been interesting, I feel like I’m always saying that to you guys but it’s true. One of my favorite quotes from Forrest Gump is “My mom always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.” It’s so true you never know what you’re going to get, some days you’ll get a flavor you like and other days you’ll get ones you don’t. I’ve had my share of both and yet no matter how many times I get days I don’t like I get ones that are so good they make me forget the bad. So let’s see where this blog leads us today. Get comfortable, take a deep breath, and let’s chat for a bit.

If y’all clicked on this blog thinking I was going to talk about a boyfriend or someone I’m dating then let me just disappoint you right now and say we’re not talking about that hahaha. Since this is the “Month of Love” I want to talk about a different and purer love. Falling in Love with God.

As I always say in my posts, I’m not here to shove God into your life or force you to believe in Him but I will share His greatness and goodness. There are many types of love, The love of parents, siblings, partners, and friendships. So far I have not found all of those types of love in one person but I have found it in God. He loves like a father, a brother, a husband, and a best friend.

Today I want to dedicate my blog to Him because without Him I don’t know where I would be. Who would I cry out to at night when I am alone with my thoughts of doubt, loneliness, frustrations? Who would I run to when I feel lost and afraid? Who would rejoice with me when I finally have overcome battles and trials that I thought I would never see the end to? Sure we can run to someone who we can physically see but they will not always be there for you.

They will not understand your deepest regrets, why something still hurts you from the past. They won’t be able to heal those wounds that are deep and hidden from all to see. They will not understand the scars you try to cover up, or the mask you sometimes feel like you need to wear. Though they won’t admit it, people get tired of hearing you complain or crying to them all of the time but you know who doesn’t complain or get tired of us? Jesus.

You might be asking yourself how can I believe that God truly loves me? Someone with my past? With my History? The beauty in this is that God does not fall in and out of love like man does ( and when I say man I mean humankind). His love surpasses everything and here are some verses from the bible to prove that:

Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

1 John 4:9-11 “ In this the love of God was manifested toward us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through Him. 10 In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. 11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.”

1 John 4:19 “We love Him because He first loved us.”

2 Corinthians 5:14-17 “14 For the love of Christ compels us, because we judge thus: that if One died for all, then all died; 15 and He died for all, that those who live should live no longer for themselves, but for Him who died for them and rose again.

16 Therefore, from now on, we regard no one according to the flesh. Even though we have known Christ according to the flesh, yet now we know Him thus no longer. 17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.”

Ephesians 4:32 “And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.”

John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.”

As I read these verses I see so many types of love from God; I see an everlasting love, A forgiving love, a merciful love, a Selfless love, an enveloping love, in Him I see the Model for love. We didn’t deserve for Him to send His only son to die on the cross for our sins and yet He did it anyway so that our sins can be washed through the act of a pure unstained love.

I for one can not imagine anyone being able to take His place and say that they would sacrifice themselves for me, for mankind. What He had to do was probably the hardest thing anyone had ever had to do. He himself asked God before going on the cross in Matthew 26:39 “He went a little farther and fell on His face, and prayed, saying, “O My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as You will.” Even though He is the Son of God in His humanity He knew what He was going to have to go through wasn’t going to be easy but He put God’s will over His own. The hunger, thirst, pain, exhaustion His body went through for a people who didn’t deserve it shows me that His love surpasses everything on this Earth, beneath it, and above it.

I pray that whoever is reading this can experience falling in love with God the same way I have. I’m not saying it’s easy but faith plays such a big role in this. You can ask me “ But Janny, how are you sure He exists if you haven’t even seen Him?” and my honest answer is found in John 20:29 “Jesus said to him, “Thomas, because you have seen Me, you have believed. Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”

I may not see Him but I feel Him as I feel the breeze, the warmth of the sun, and the drizzle of the rain. I hear Him in the waves, in the thunder, as the birds sing. I see him as the trees sway left and right, and the stars twinkling at night. If we still ourselves enough and intentionally look for Him we’ll see, hear, and feel Him everywhere.

Falling in love and staying in love with God takes work the same as any relationship. You have to make time to know Him, to learn about Him, and to trust Him. I don’t have it down to a science and I’ve been serving Him since I was 16. There were moments of doubt, frustration, anger, loneliness, moments where I felt like giving up and honestly it was because I wasn’t allowing myself to become vulnerable enough with Him. God is a gentleman and He won’t force His love on you but if you are willing to, He will knock and wait for you to open the door of your heart.

I pray that you will allow yourself to open up to Him and fall in love with Him. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. God bless you guys and I leave you with this quote;

“To fall in love with God is the greatest of all romances; to seek Him, the greatest adventure; to find Him, the greatest human achievement.” – Raphael Simon

Until our next unpacking. Have a great day my lovelies!

Love Always,

Janny Mari

Pages: 1 2

I have Outgrown

Hello my beautiful friends,

I find myself craving a snow day, for those of you who don’t know I work in a public school and let me just tell you I think we all wish we had a snow day already. Although snow days for me mean something entirely different than it did when I was a student I still enjoy getting the call. Sometimes I just like to stare out of my bedroom window, snuggled up watching the snowfall softly. It’s almost like time slows down and for the day I get to just be. I know I know this is random but just thought I’d like to share. So how are you doing today? I hope you’re not letting life’s worries get you down. I also hope you are making time to relax and breathe deeply. So allow this time as you read to be a time to unwind and be still for a moment. Let’s talk for a bit.

I’d like to bring up a topic today that honestly took a long time for me to realize I was going through and to this day I still find myself trying to figure it out and it’s Outgrowing. Before I get into it let’s see the definition for Outgrow.

Outgrow

verb

out·grow ˌau̇t-ˈgrō

outgrew ˌau̇t-ˈgrü ; outgrown ˌau̇t-ˈgrōn ; outgrowing

transitive verb

: to grow or increase faster than

mankind is outgrowing food supplies

—R. C. Murphy

: to grow too large or too mature for

outgrew his best suit

the need to outgrow the habit of war

As I was looking for this definition It came to my mind that back in May I wrote a blog titled “Take Up Space” where I talked about my insecurities of taking up too much space physically and personality wise. When you get a chance go and read it. I find myself in quite a different mindset. Where I once felt like I was too much I feel like I’m not enough (in a good way), Where I once felt like I was taking too much space I feel like I’m not taking enough. In fact I find myself Outgrowing friendships, relationships, mindsets, goals, and dreams. It’s a scary thought really, it almost sounds selfish of me to think that way but honestly it’s an interesting feeling.

For those that know me know that I can seem like the most outgoing person but in reality I love me some alone time. It’s when I get to talk to God or just evaluate myself and see where I am at in life. For a few months I’ve been very pensive, my trip to Paris really opened up my mind about so many things. My world that was filled with unreachable dreams suddenly became a world with attainable dreams. As a kid growing up I fell in love with reading because I was able to go to so many different worlds without leaving my room. Worlds that only seemed possible to visit only in my imagination. But Paris and God of course showed me that the sky is truly the limit. That if I want it badly enough with prayer and hard work it can be achievable and as I was realizing this suddenly my thoughts began to shift, I started wondering if what I thought I wanted is truly what I want. Suddenly I found my thoughts drifting towards do I want to settle or do I want to explore. I spoke to a few friends about my thoughts and some had different perspectives. Some said you can settle down and still explore and others said get it in while you still can because life changes when you’re married and have kids. I appreciate everything they’ve told me but something I realized was that each and everyone of us live different lives and have chosen different paths.

There’s this quote that I read that put a few things into perspective for me and it says;

“Recognize when a phase, a life stage, or a relationship is over let it go. Allow yourself to gracefully exit situations you have outgrown. Moving on doesn’t have a catastrophic dramatic event. You can simply choose to move forward with peace and clarity.”

I honestly didn’t realize that it was okay to outgrow all of these things. There was a friendship that I had for almost 10 years and a few years ago I felt like we were drifting apart. I felt so guilty because I felt that we weren’t a part of eachothers daily lives anymore. That I suddenly realized I didn’t go to them for everything. It wasn’t like this person wasn’t important to me they were but what I thought was guilt was really outgrowing them all along. Sounds a bit harsh doesn’t it? It makes you kind of wonder why we outgrow some friendships and relationships while others continue to grow with us. It took me a long time to move on from that friendship because I felt like I was losing someone who was important to me for so many years but in reality we just outgrew each other. The love is still there and we reach out to each other once in a blue. They just aren’t a part of my everyday life and that is okay.

It took awhile for me to understand that outgrowing someone or something doesn’t have to be a whole event where I need to figure out what I did wrong. We simply just outgrow things the same way we outgrow clothes. Some of my friends that I outgrew wanted to continue with a victim mentality where they never did anything wrong and life was always against them. They simply didn’t want to take accountability that our actions, words, decisions have consequences and I noticed this a lot when I came to Christ. I don’t have any problems with being friends with people who don’t go to church or believe in God but they didn’t like how I was different in the sense that I didn’t want to do anything that would dishonor God. That I found more joy in going to church than going to a party or out drinking.

Outgrowing someone, your dreams, goals, or an old mindset sort of feels like a break up (at least to me it does). It feels like something we want to hold on to because it was something that brought comfort to us at a certain point in our life. But what I’m recognizing the most is that I need a new pot. You may be wondering what in the world do I mean and I’ll tell ya.

I read an article on The Spruce by Marie Iannotti called “How to know if your house plant is pot bound.” and I took a piece from it that caught my eye. It states;

“Houseplants are totally dependent on the conditions in their containers. Soil, drainage, light exposure, and nutrition has to be adjusted to their needs, or they won’t survive. Of all these factors, soil may be the most overlooked. It’s easy to think that as long as you start your houseplant off right, it should continue growing just fine. Unfortunately, that’s not the case. As potted plants grow full and leafy, their roots are also expanding. These roots tend to break down the soil in the pot, as they expand. Roots then displace the soil and break down the soil nutrients to absorb them. The second problem is that the roots will go looking for more room to expand and will start to wind themselves around in circles, girdling themselves in the process. This is what is meant by the term “pot bound”. Plant roots should grow down and outward from the bottom of the plant, not wrap themselves in a circle.

Sooner or later every healthy, growing houseplant is going to outgrow its pot, and to avoid the plant becoming pot bound, there are several signs to watch for to keep your plants healthy. When a plant gets too large for its pot and the roots circle around inside the pot, the plant’s growth becomes restricted. If your plants seem to dry out more quickly than they used to, but are otherwise healthy, they are probably pot bound. There are simply too many roots in the pot and not enough soil is left to hold and distribute water. Other indicators of a pot-bound plant include roots growing out of the pot’s bottom drainage hole, as well as water that pools on the soil’s surface. Roots that encircle the pot prevent the absorption of water. Leaf drop, failure to thrive, and lack of new growth are also indicators that it’s time to repot your plant.
“https://www.thespruce.com/pot-bound-houseplants-1402661#:~:text=When%20a%20plant%20gets%20too,they%20are%20probably%20pot%20bound.

Houseplants are dependent on the conditions of their container, likewise I am dependent on the conditions of my life. I am dependent on the type of soil I use, how I choose to drain what I don’t need or the negative things in my life, how often I’m exposed to light and my nutrition. We can definitely take this spiritually because I do believe that the more we are exposed to God and His light the better we grow but I want to take this spiritually, literally, and figuratively. Just as the plant outgrows its pot I know I am outgrowing mines, I’m outgrowing my comfort zone, I’m outgrowing what society thinks I should do, and what my limits should be. It’s scary but I’m craving more space, I’m craving a bigger pot to spread out my roots in.

I don’t know if you find yourself at a similar stage as me. I don’t know, maybe your pot is just right at the moment and you feel pretty good. Or what if your pot is too small like mine and you find yourself wanting bigger things than you could ever imagine. All I know is that it costs you nothing to dream or want more; physically, emotionally, financially, spiritually and educationally. For months there were a few things that I kept wondering about what to do and in some sort of Eureka moment I realized that the solution to my problems / worries was quite simple. I have outgrown my pot and as comfortable, at home, and safe it made me feel it’s time to move to a new one where my roots can spread out and grow instead of feeling like my growth is being stunted.

This thought is scary and exciting all at the same time. There are a few conversations that I need to have and decisions that I need to make to get the ball rolling but I know it’ll be for the best. It’s time to reach new horizons and leave the what ifs behind and start to think in the mindset of Why not now!

I know I brought a lot of different things to think about in this blog but I hope that if you walk away with anything it’s that it’s okay to outgrow your environment and what you thought you wanted. If you believe in God, ask for His guidance. Find the pot that will be good for you and your growth and know that when the time comes letting go can be a good thing. That it is okay to want more for your life and to make space for it. For me my pot can mean many things but for now it’s definitely in my mindset and moving out of my comfort zone. For you your pot may look different but that’s the beauty in plants, they’re all different and require different pots for different seasons in their life.

I leave you with this quote;

“I have outgrown many things. I have outgrown relatives who gladly offer criticism but not support. I have outgrown my need to meet my family’s unrealistic expectations of me. I have outgrown girls who wear masks and secretly rejoice at my misfortunes. I have outgrown shrinking myself for boys who are intimidated by my intelligence and outspoken nature. I have outgrown friends who cannot celebrate my accomplishments. I have outgrown people who conveniently disappear whenever my life gets a little dark. I have outgrown those who take pleasure in gossiping and spreading negativity. I have outgrown dull, meaningless conversations that feel forced. I have outgrown those who don’t take a stand against ignorance and injustice. I have outgrown trying to please everyone. I have outgrown society constantly telling me I’m not beautiful, smart, or worthy enough. I have outgrown my tendency to fill my mind with self doubt and insecurity. I have outgrown trying to find reasons not to love myself. I have outgrown anything and anyone that does not enrich the essence of my soul. I have outgrown many things– and I’ve never felt freer.” – Chanda Kaushik

Until our next unpacking. Have a great day my lovelies!

Love Always,

Janny Mari

Pages: 1 2

Boiling Point

Hello Friends,

How are y’all doing today? I hope you guys had a good weekend. Mine was long since we had Monday off and surprisingly I was able to get a few things on my checklist done. So one of my goals for this year is to be more intentional with my time. To not just aimlessly scroll through social media to pass by time but to grow in all aspects of my life. Whether its; Spiritual, Financial, Physical/ Health, Mental, Emotional, Habits, and Hobbies. I just have this overwhelming sense of gratitude towards God for giving me the strength and breath to live this life I’m living. We only get one life guys and I’m at the point where I truly want to live my best life, where not only am I getting the best from it but giving my best to it. I want to be able to stand in front of God and say I did the best with what you gave me. I don’t want to live a life full of regrets, I want to live one where even if I tried and failed I can at least say I tried. Where I can experience things I’ve never experienced before. Hear languages I’ve never heard, see places I’ve never seen, love as much as I can love, and learn from pain and disappointment.

I didn’t intend to write as much for my first paragraph but I guess you can say that I’m feeling excited about the possibilities and opportunities this new year may bring. So y’all already know get comfortable, grab a snack, and let’s chat for a bit.

The topic for today’s blog came from a conversation I had with my mom and friend (more like sister). We have started to meet every week to discuss all things related to life and Jesus. I can’t remember what exactly brought this to my mind but as we spoke I remembered a quote I read;

“The same boiling water that softens the potato, hardens the egg. It’s what you’re made of. Not the circumstances.”- Unknown

There’s a few points I want to talk about with this quote;

We are all not the same
We all have different Outcomes
We all have a boiling point

As much as I want to be able to relate to all of you I can’t. I can only speak about my life, my memories, my past, my hopes, my dreams. What keeps me up at night may not keep you up. What hurts my feelings may not hurt yours. My disappointments may not be yours, my fears and worries can be completely different from what scares or worries you. I may have not gone through what you have, or have overcome what you have. Some of you may be sweet, others may be blunt, some understanding, others judgemental, some may be forgiving, and others vengeful. I strongly believe that what we go through in life shapes our views, opinions, perspectives, and lifestyle.

Something I truly believe in is that we are all dealt with cards, some good, some okay, and some awful but it is up to us on how we want to play them. I have met many different characters in my life; family, friends, coworkers, and acquaintances. Many different personalities have me wondering how they can be so positive after experiencing the worst. Some who make me wonder why can’t they just see that there is good in life, and some who I wish I can push to their full potential.

Where has life brought you? How has life shaped you? Have you chosen to accept what it’s dealt to you or are you pushing the walls of your comfort zone? Before we can answer these questions there’s one question I want us all to think about. Am I an egg or am I a potato? Do I need to harden or do I need to soften? You may be wondering where I am going with all of this and I’ll tell ya.

In my 30 years of life I can say I’m both, there are moments in my life where I’m too hard like the potato and too soft like the egg. In the moments where I’m like the potato I can be too “hard,” guarded, and reserved. I didn’t realize this till much later in my life but with my resting face I can come across as angry or cold all the while I could be thinking of coffee or needing a nap. Now an interesting thing about Potatoes is that they grow in the dirt and in a dark place. If I ask if many can relate to a potato I’m sure some will say that they know what it feels like to grow up in the dirt and dark. Most of the people who I’ve talked to have grown up or have come from families who were “dirt poor” where their experiences were not filled with sunshine and rainbows. Instead it was filled with darkness and troubles. With not seeing the good in life but always getting the worst. I may not know what you have gone through, or have experienced a third of what you had to survive through but I understand that it can be very easy to view this world as unfair and brutal. Where you wish to experience the sweetness of life but all you have is a bitter taste of it.

I can also say I relate to the egg where on the outside it appears strong but very fragile on the inside. That sentence alone proves to me that I am growing because 2 years ago I would’ve never wanted anyone to think of me as fragile but I have to be honest with myself. The same way I can be as strong and hard as a potato is the same way I can be fragile and soft like an egg. Similar to where the potato grows, the egg grows inside of a dark place as well. The difference is that it comes from a place of warmth and life.

Something that I find interesting as well is the retrieval process of these two things. For a potato you have to dig deep and pull from the roots while the egg is used to an environment of being coddled and protected where to retrieve it you have to be gentle. These two things experience different growth processes and each are handled differently. The same way we all have seen people who were born from darkness rise to be their best selves and people who were born from warmth and having all they can need and choose darkness. I have also seen those born from darkness choose darkness and those who were born from a good family and chose to be good people.

That leads me to my last point, our boiling point. There comes a time in life where we all reach a boiling point and for all of us it gives us a different outcome, as you boil you may either soften like a potato or harden like an egg. For many of us this boiling point is needed because you may be so hard on yourself and others that life needs you to soften you up a bit or you’re too soft and life needs to make you tougher. Either you’re too proud and you need to be humbled or too sensitive and need to become stronger. At the end of the day life may play a big role on who you are as a person but you have a say on whether you will let it mold you as a person and your outlook. At the end of the day you have a say whether your boiling point is your breaking point or what makes you better. You can determine whether you will crack under pressure or thrive in your circumstances.

You can’t choose where you’re born from, what family you were given, what life throws your way but you can choose the outcome. You can choose the path you want to follow and the choices you make. I know life probably hasn’t been kind to you but you deserve to be loved and love, you deserve happiness, joy, peace. You deserve to see your dreams and goals become a reality. Stop thinking you’re out of reach and start thinking that you are within grasp of what you want. Do not let what life has done dictate what you’re worth or capable of because darlin the sky’s the limit.

I’ll leave y’all with this quote;

“Sometimes you get what you want. Other times, you get a lesson in patience, timing, alignment, empathy, compassion, faith, perseverance, resilience, humility, trust, meaning, awareness, resistance, purpose, clarity, grief, beauty and life. Either way, you win.” – Brianna Wiest

Until our next unpacking, have a great day my lovelies!

Love Always,

Janny Mari

Pages: 1 2